I never want my kids thinking they gotta bring me money to prove they're doing good 😩
This is the conversation many families are afraid to have, but we must have it.
The pressure parents put on their children to bring money home is pushing many young people into fraud, prostitution, and money rituals.
Let’s say the truth as it is.
A boy finishes school. He has no job. He has no skill. He has no connection. He is still struggling to feed himself. But his mother calls him every week:
"Your mate has bought a car for his mother."
"When are you going to build a house for us?"
"Your younger ones are looking up to you."
"Don't come home empty-handed this Christmas."
The boy starts feeling like a failure. He starts feeling useless. He starts feeling like his parents' love is only measured by the money he brings.
So what does he do? He looks for fast money.
He enters Yahoo Yahoo. He starts scamming people online. He starts lying, stealing, and destroying other people's lives, just to meet the expectation at home. And when he brings the first big money home, nobody asks, "Where did you get this money from?" They celebrate him. They call him "our son has arrived." They pray for him. They use the money to do Thanksgiving.
We have taught our children that the source of the money does not matter, as long as the money comes home.
Same thing with our girls.
A girl is in university. Her parents cannot pay her school fees. They cannot send her feeding money. But they still expect her to send money home. They tell her, "You are a big girl now, you should be helping us."
So she starts looking for men who will pay. She starts selling her body to survive. She starts doing hookup, not because she loves it, but because she is under pressure to bring money home and to survive at the same time. And when she brings money home, her parents collect it without asking questions.
And the worst one is money rituals.
Young boys who are tired of being called lazy, tired of being compared to their mates, tired of seeing their parents suffer, go to native doctors. They want quick wealth. They want to prove to their family that they are not failures. Some of them lose their minds. Some lose their lives. Some destroy their families forever.
All because of pressure.
Parents, listen. Your child is not your retirement plan. Your child is not your investment that must yield profit by force.
If you pressure a child who has no job, no skill, and no help to bring money home by all means, you are indirectly pushing them to do evil by all means.
You cannot demand a harvest from a seed you never watered. You cannot demand a mansion from a child you never empowered…