Buy me books and tell me I’m funny. Official spokesperson for beavers. Please take everything I post seriously. 🇨🇦

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[getting murdered] You might want to close the windows. I’m a bit of a screamer.
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How much whiskey goes into the cookies?? I'm new to this whole baking thing
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Yawning while saying “fuck” is self care.
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when he worships you but is dominant at the same time? big fan
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Oh her? That’s just the girl on twitter I’m in love with.
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Hopelessly devoted to shit posting.
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RT @DrkDrtyStories: Newest addition to my office decor. Cause I'm a lady and a...
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I'm writing another book so be prepared for random nonsense and spicy tweets for the next 5 weeks or so. Just warning y'all
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I got the Covid vaccine and sure enough five years later sent a text to the wrong person
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i don’t wanna brag but credit karma just said i was above average
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Pay attention to the people who claim to be rooting for you, but vanish the second good things start happening. Eye opening, to say the least. But grateful for the 20/20 vision.
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Say hello to my little friend
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Almost had an orgasm watching a home library renovation. Apparently deep wood, exposed shelving, a big built-in, and well-stocked bookshelves are all it takes to ruin me.
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RT @DrkDrtyStories: Happy Saturday fuckers!! It's officially fall, so all my slutty little dresses have been retired for the next 9 months.…
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Me: I'm going to write a relatively contained supernatural story. Also me: What if there were ancient gods and vampires and shifters and witches and a mythology spanning centuries? Anyway, February 12.
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I was sitting out outside having my coffee when I looked up to see… if I go missing, welp… bye.
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I hope you all got enough potassium today. Goodnight
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I can't believe I have to wear a fucking shirt today
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Girls be like “I know a spot” then steal your organs under the harvest moon.
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Swifties will look you dead in the face and say “you just don’t get it, her music sucks on purpose.”
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