In command of Browns Artillery Company, Cleveland Regiment, Berea Brigade, Northern Division, American F Corps (parody account)
Cleveland, OH
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Dearest Wife: While in winter quarters observing changes to command staff, we eagerly wait on news of the super battle being waged in Miami between the California gold-rushers and the mighty war-chiefs. I wish victory to my worthy rival Chief Ma-Ho-Mes. -- Your Loving Baker
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Dearest Wife: Our new colonel was paraded before the scribblers of the Press yesterday. He could not oblige to take a compliment from @MarcSessler our one Press supporter. Colonel Stefanski needs to develop better humors to survive in command of #Browns Regiment! — Baker
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Dearest Wife: Adjutant dePodesta has brought #Browns Reg a new colonel hardly more experienced, and even younger, than the last. Hopefully he did not confuse this duty with his favorite sport invented by old General Doubleday. — Baker
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Dearest Wife: The Baltimore conspiracy has completely suborned the nation’s Press. The fate of the cause now rests with the men of the Tennessee Regiment, who must fight like #Titans to break this celeritous foe. The prayers of all Ohio go with the brave Tennesseans. — Baker
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Dearest Wife: Fort Berea is a flurry of activity even in winter quarters. Flag officers are marched in and out to meet with our regiment's Board of War. It seems our new colonel will be selected by a man whose true expertise is a newfangled game called base-ball. -- Baker
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Dearest Wife: The new year begins without a regimental command staff. Gangrenous Col Kitchens was carted off. Gen Dorsey has been dismissed, amputated as if infected too! Copperheads in the Press hiss gleeful blame upon me. We all must wait and hope for better leadership. — Baker
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Dearest Wife: #Browns Regiment’s colonel so recently breveted thus passes from this cruel war. An honest man unready for command, unlamented by many who huzzahed him but one spring ago. This spring I must redouble my training to make myself the officer Cleveland needs. — Baker
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Dearest Wife: #Browns Reg has retreated to winter quarters in disgrace, soundly defeated at Cincinnati by the Bengal Lancers. I couldn’t rally our listless troops, but only my honor was wounded. Mortal harm was surely done to the prospects of Maj Wilks and Col Kitchens. — Baker
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Dearest Wife: Utter humiliation as troops of Baltimore’s conspiracy sack Cleveland and break the spirit of its people. We are dishonored. Col Kitchens and Maj Wilks were too indolent to ready #Browns Reg for adequate defense. All hope is dead under these commanders. — Your Baker
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Dear Wife: That deceased Modell of treachery, whose crime against #Cleveland launched the #Baltimore conspiracy, is nominated for honor as a "contributor" to the cause. A travesty! Canton's men are well to remember that outraged Clevelanders are but a short march away. -- Baker
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Dearest Wife: "Some one had blunder'd." #Browns Reg was ambushed in the desert and utterly humiliated by cadet Murray's spirited Arizona troops. Our elan is broken. Confidence in my artillery is gone. Mutinous stares fall on our commanders, especially Col Kitchens. -- Baker
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Dearest Wife: #Browns Reg. repulsed a desperate assault on Cleveland by the Bengal lancers. My artillery accomplished little. Cpl. Chubb and Pvt. Seibert carried this long, numbing day. Inebriated Striped Irregulars delayed the tedious affair. Our campaign staggers on. — Baker
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Standing up to the Press scribblers is another reason why Dearest Wife is our First Lady of The Land.
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Dearest Wife: #Browns Regiment is repulsed at fetid Fort Pitt. Without Sgt. Garrett, our puerile infantry could not stop the counterattack of even a brevetted cadet officer. My own fire was so errant that I nearly blew off my own hand. Our autumn offensive appears lost. -- Baker
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Dearest Wife: #Browns Co. routed the invading fishermen from Miami. Commendations to Sgt. Landry and Pvt. Chubb. We received welcome news that the vituperative cadet officer who who provoked Sgt. Garrett was relieved of command by his own colonel! #FreeMylesGarrett -- Baker
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Sgt. Garrett remains imprisoned indefinitely for the crime of daring to resist the bilious aggression of a white man, while those who assaulted him by word and blows receive nary a punishment. This injustice must be reversed. — Capt. B. Mayfield, #Browns Co. #FreeMylesGarrett
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Dearest Wife: How we tire of the Press "waving the bloody shirt" and weeping faux tears over the Steel Regiment, whose history is far from immaculate. Does anyone in northern Ohio still purchase the tissues of calumnies written by scribblers who so favor the enemy? -- Baker
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Captain Baker Mayfield retweeted
We can’t wait to meet you, baby Scho!!!🖤Arriving Spring 2020🖤#20weeks
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Dearest Wife: We defended the land against the Steel Regiment, sans their rotund captain. The battle ended in a desperate melee between Sgt Garrett and the enemy’s pathetic cadet officer. This should not obscure the heroism of Sgt Shobert and Cpl Chubb, men of the hour. — Baker
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