They have the Internet on computers, now? --Homer Simpson
The Whale's V
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I want to remind everybody that I'm just a random dude who tweets dad jokes. Direct your ecoli tweets to @chipotletweets
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Absolutely, but be very careful our beans are extremely hot.
Hey @Chipotle, does my birthday suit count as a costume for tomorrow?
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To be fair, they're not the only ones who think my "you definitely can judge a book by its cover" take is problematic
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Al lives next door and is a good dude
Hey @chipotle, I don’t know who this Pastor Al guy is, but his chicken is delicious!
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Thanks, but elite is a stretch. I'm solidly mediocre on a good day
I really don’t understand da @chipotle slander I hear from folks
Dey always have been & always will be elite
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Guessing my orange check mark means that my jokes are certified fresh. #thanksElon
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I'm not sure it applies to you, but my problem is that I haven't left the house in over 2 years and people freak me out
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