Open Format DJ, Chicago 🇵🇷 Meng/Mengself Just a Malta drinking alien 👽 Booking: Dante.DJB@gmail.com

Chicago, IL
Ever reach peak productivity and you got three robots going and two loads of laundry going and your dishes are done and now you have to mail a package
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S/o to when u have the @chevy fleet of vehicles and each one gets their own unique individual problem, but you have a fleet of them, especially when they start as minor problems and when the door handles fall off, but also their shitty transmissions and that one generation
3
Day 84 in SHU My brother is going to snitch on me because I am the worse of the two brothers At one point in my life, I had a Bugatti and my brother was my friend He wouldn’t make toilet jokes then he would just do toilet stuff with me like a brother should
Every morning Tristan holds out his open palms and says “Don’t worry Andrew, your destiny is right here, in my hands, I will take care of you” Then he walks across the cell and “trips” to “drop” my imaginary destiny into the toilet. He then stares at me while flushing the toilet 15 times in a row laughing manically.
32
Heavy Rain: the game, where you slit your wrists in the bathtub instead of drowning the baby Ethan is also innocent, but will murder on behalf to save his son The origami killer is probably a landscape architect 6 inches of rain killing somebody is kind of very complicated
5
Shout out to people who can’t step away from their business whatsoever otherwise it’ll go bankrupt If I look at my robots too long, they tell me I’m autistic and need to leave them alone Guess not every business is the same Who needs retirement when you have consistent work?
5
Playing heavy rain So far, I think Ethan killed both his sons. Like how you let IT kill one then lose the other?
5
Shout out to listening to conscious music as a way of becoming complacent Like instead of having an opinion on something or educating yourself you just referenced song lyrics from @macklemore or @ImmortalTech and act like you’re a social revolutionary Hipster piece of shit
10
I feel like being a pedophile became a bigger issue after Bill Clinton. Like back in the day in the 80s there were these things called teenyboppers and they were 10 year olds trying to get 40-year-old dick This movement made a lot of the properties you see these old bitches in
4
Shout out to people who think that Rather Be by Clean Bandit is a disco song
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Adult dickbag move: Able to 0% APR some shit for 15 months off a new credit card
3
Waco was just The Alamo for Christianity
4
They need to make like a illegal stop and search a DUI tactic, but for making decisions under the influence Like operating machinery under the influence of drugs is illegal as part of secret manufacturing insurance protocol But so is being a drunk ass politician selling out
3
Shout out to when ur one of those easily manipulated ppl and then u live in Chicago and try to assume a personality of Chicagoan who is actually from Chicago but then you can’t afford Chicago so you leave Chicago but try to be Chicago elsewhere Real Chicagoans don’t need Biolife
4
Shout out to the real racism When white people get offended because they’re more politically correct than other ppl None of that daoist influence No concept of karma No Anansi the spider Just good old-fashioned no opinion about anything,just Jesus Christ died for our sins
4
Shout out when your fourth wife to be buys you a golf cart with rims, then divorces your ass after a destination wedding That’s what the Fifth wife is for and she needs to be either a loaded small business owner or a doctor because Quadruple alimony child support sucks
13
Shout out to when you’re gay and autistic and think you’re attractive and everyone just needs to explain to you no you’re not fucking attractive. You’re a fucking weirdo.
5
Is it OK to call a gospel singer an autistic person with a special interest? It’s definitely OK to call all those singer, songwriter guitarist women autism with a special interest
5
Are special interest things you can be bad at? Like is there some dumb autistic Negro that can’t properly identify cabooses?
3
I like when people say DJing is like a special interest autism thing It’s only that way if you fucking suck at DJing. Otherwise it’s just a hobby that makes you money that you can get into because it’s actually very vast. Retarded autistic people get their music from Spotify
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I like when white people try to teach you how to be their favorite DJ but then you hate all the music they like so they try to change you. I never want it to be old white people‘s favorite DJ anyway. Truth be told terrible crowd.
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