How are any young men left wing I genuinely don’t understand

People have asked me what I will do when Harry Kane wins The Ballon D’or. I have already planned so much. Firstly, I will be going to my local baker, and asking her to design a cake, as attached on the image. I will be cutting and eating it after the ceremony. I will be eating it with my nephew, my mother, and I will even try to see if my ex girlfriend will allow my son to attend, as this occasion would be one of the most important days of my life. My father will not be invited, as he will just insult me. But before that, I will be doing his celebration when the winner his announced. Finally, I will be cooking for the day. Harry Kane’s favourite food is hot dogs, so I will be making hot dogs for the entire family. Homemade sausages. I have ordered a sausage press just for this. And as per my restaurant idea, I will make it Harry Kane themed. Harry Kane dogs. But I feel I could do more, for such a special event. I do not know.

Lamine Yamal appears to take aim at Harry Kane in his most recent statements about the Ballon d'Or: "I think the Ballon d'Or should go to the best player in the world, period. Not to a player who's scored 80 goals, because when you score 80 goals, you get the 'top scorer' award for that. These are very different things that people aren't understanding. The best player in the world is the one that, as a commentator, you’re watching a game and enjoying - you see him and think, ‘He’s a player who is very different from everyone else.’. - When the award goes to the best, not the one who scores the most goals or the one who has won the most titles, then it will regain its true value." [@MPlusDeportes]

José Mourinho takes aim at Bayern and PSG: "For me, [La Liga] is a tough league because the pressure is constant: you always have to win. There are leagues where you don't always have to win. The champions in France or Germany have the tranquility to say 'we already know we'll be champion'. Here, there's pressure week after week. If you don't win, it's a bad result - this pressure plays an important role for teams that have to play in a league of this quality"

Official: João Palhinha has left FC Bayern and completed a permanent move to Benfica

Sacha Boey was left out of Bayern's Lederhosen team photo. Unlike Palhinha and Zaragoza, who are joining Benfica and Espanyol respectively, Boey is still not subject to any concrete inquiry/offer. Bayern want the team photos to remain current for the coming months, and that's why they decided not to include Boey, as they're pushing for him to leave [@BILD]

🚨 𝗛𝗘𝗥𝗘 𝗪𝗘 𝗔𝗖𝗧𝗨𝗔𝗟𝗟𝗬 𝗚𝗢 🚨 RB Leipzig und @realmadrid haben sich auf einen Wechsel von Yan #Diomande geeinigt 🤝 Mit 13 Toren und 10 Vorlagen in 36 Pflichtspielen machte Yan in seiner ersten Saison für #RBLeipzig europaweit auf sich aufmerksam. Jetzt schließt sich der 19-Jährige dem spanischen Rekordmeister an. Viel Erfolg für deine Zukunft, Yan! 🫶

Aston Villa are still showing strong interest in João Palhinha. The clubs have so far been unable to reach an agreement over the terms of a transfer. Bayern are demanding around €25m, deemed too much by Villa. Friday's friendly between the two teams will offer them a chance to negotiate face to face. Even though Palhinha said that he wanted to fight for his place at Bayern, his entourage is still listening to offers. If he sees no prospect of fair treatment and sporting competition at Bayern, Palhinha would be willing to leave, provided he receives a convincing offer [@linner_nicolas, @AgardiJulian]

João Palhinha, Sacha Boey, Bryan Zaragoza and Armindo Sieb are not listed in the 2026/27 squad in the club's official website, even though they have valid first-team contracts - a clear signal that the club is not planning with them Bara Sapoko Ndiaye is not listed because his permanent transfer is not official yet @BILD

FT | FC Rottach-Egern 0-15 FC Bayern