Observing, Mocking, & Documenting the fall of Western Civilization. #xennial -unaffiliated with Sir David Attenborough

Wawa Presents: Armed Competitive Shouting™
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“One woman brought a knife. The other brought an ambitious understanding of shoelaces. Neither appears to have benefited from compulsory education.” -Attenborough’s Algorithm #DeepStateCringe #AttenboroughsAlgorithmExplains #NewYork #Blewdakriss #SidewalkChaos
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“Jenipher with a P-H. GMC Hammer with a grudge. And a traffic dispute with absolutely no interest in remaining a traffic dispute.” -Attenborough’s Algorithm #DeepStateCringe #AttenboroughsAlgorithmExplains #JenipherLewis #GMCHammer #RoadRage
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Deep.State.Cringe retweeted
“With a single crack, dignity departs, gravity intervenes, and what remains is two wind-up relics negotiating the pavement with admirable persistence.” —Attenborough’s Algorithm #AttenboroughExplains #UrbanWildlife #AlgorithmicDecay #ModernRituals #GravityWins
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“A routine shopping excursion becomes an unexpected lesson in emotional economics, questionable customer service, and the true cost of a dollar. Management may wish to reconsider the return policy.”-Attenborough’s Algorithm #DeepStateCringe #AttenboroughsAlgorithmExplains
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“Four feral specimens entered the pastry department. One discovered the nutritional benefits of Sunny D, another briefly explored Brazilian jiu-jitsu, and a pair of spectacles paid the ultimate price for seeing too much.” -Attenborough’s Algorithm #DeepStateCringe #AttenboroughsAlgorithmExplains #SomewhereInTheMidwest #SunnyD
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“By evening’s end, the merchandise had been scattered, the register assaulted, several farewell kicks exchanged, and the proprietor introduced to the uniquely American tradition of paying for everyone else’s poor decisions.” -Attenborough’s Algorithm #DeepStateCringe #AttenboroughsAlgorithmExplains #SomewhereMaryland #StreetAnthropology
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“Three men entered with grievances, two removed their shirts, and one briefly sent his soul outside for a Newport.” -Attenborough’s Algorithm #DeepStateCringe #AttenboroughsAlgorithmExplains #DetroitVolume6 #ConeyIsland #ModernCivilization
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“The electrical intervention represented progress, the hair pulling honored tradition, and the shedding of weaves provided historians with a remarkably complete archaeological record.” -Attenborough’s Algorithm #DeepStateCringe #AttenboroughsAlgorithmExplains #BrooklynVolume2 #HumanBehavior #StreetFight
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“Come for the acrylics. Stay for the eyelashes. Leave before the floor plan becomes negotiable.” -Attenborough’s Algorithm #PalmBeach #Florida #NailSalon #DeepStateCringe #AttenboroughsAlgorithmExplains
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“Civilization is often described as a thin veneer. On Brady Street, it appears to have been applied with a single coat.” -Attenborough’s Algorithm #Milwaukee #BradyStreet #DeepStateCringe #AttenboroughsAlgorithm #HumanNature
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“Gen X was raised without helmets, supervision, or the expectation that every conflict required an administrative hearing. Respect your elders. Some of them still remember when ‘find out’ was the second half of a complete sentence.” -Attenborough’s Algorithm #GenX #Tupelo #Mississippi #DeepStateCringe #AttenboroughsAlgorithm
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“A fascinating reminder that diplomacy remains perfectly viable right up until someone discovers the patio furniture.” -Attenborough’s Algorithm #FoldingChairDiplomacy #DeepStateCringe #AttenboroughsAlgorithm #HumanNature #ConflictResolution
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“Civilization is merely bad behavior awaiting sufficient voltage.” -Attenborough’s Algorithm #SanDiego #GaslampQuarter #DeepStateCringe #AttenboroughsAlgorithm #HumanNature
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“A fascinating reminder that baseball remains the only sport where the spectators occasionally require more officials than the players.” -Attenborough’s Algorithm #Chicago #WrigleyField #CrosstownClassic #DeepStateCringe #AttenboroughsAlgorithm
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“Meanwhile, Deputy Depends witnesses the slow dissolution of the social contract from a distance deemed medically responsible. Order is a remarkably fragile concept once everyone believes they’re the one restoring it.” -Attenborough’s Algorithm #CanyonLake #California #DeepStateCringe #AttenboroughsAlgorithm #HumanNature
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“By Chicago standards, four rounds of combat, intermittent nudity, and several displaced wigs may still qualify as an admirable display of civic restraint.” -Attenborough’s Algorithm #AttenboroughsAlgorithm #DeepStateCringe #Chicago #31stBeach #StreetAnthropology
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“Civilization is often measured not by how we behave when things are orderly, but by how quickly the trousers disappear when they are not.” -Attenborough’s Algorithm #Tacoma #PublicTransit #PeopleWatching #CaughtOnCamera #AttenboroughsAlgorithm
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“Civilization is often measured not by how we behave when things are orderly, but by how quickly the trousers disappear when they are not.” -Attenborough’s Algorithm #Tacoma #PublicTransit #PeopleWatching #CaughtOnCamera #AttenboroughsAlgorithm
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“The plethora of F-bombs may document the rage, but an audience willing to keep poking the animal deserves at least partial credit for the encore.” -Attenborough’s Algorithm #KinisonRespect (No shade or disrespect intended toward one of the all-time greats, Sam Kinison. The legend remains untouchable.)
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