i'm on a quest

the woods
They froze me in a big block of ice and didn't thaw me out again for nearly fifty minutes so sorry if I'm still trying to adjust to everything here in the future
1
10
98
5,964
Please, pay it no mind. Any of it. Not really prepared for any of it to be minded, just now.
1
2
22
984
I wasn't happy with how our last talk went, but I decided to sit with that feeling for a while. And, with a bit of time and consideration, I managed to hone that feeling into a much denser, more refined feeling, which I'm now going to be bludgeoning you with repeatedly.
16
93
1,562
Tried to buy some bread and the store lady wouldn't let me. Said I "didn't seem that hungry". I didn't seem "excited enough" about the bread. Came back the next day with a big smile on my face. Guy at the register wouldn't sell it to me. Said I looked too excited about the bread.
48
1,250
20,774
385,073
Is it because I kept talking about the Nightmare King? Cause I could cut way down on that. It's a normal thing to talk about, though. He's king of all nightmares. That's a big deal. It's kind of weird more people aren't talking about him. But I'm into lots of other stuff, too.
6
53
1,232
I understand how important this is to you. I just think you should find something less embarrassing and bad to be so important to you. Like checkers, or how they changed the shape of your favorite breakfast cereal.
1
1
57
1,412
There's this one guy everyone calls "The Knight of Flowers" but I've been following his exploits across the kingdom, and it turns out he doesn't actually spend any time frolicking in the flowers. He mostly just cuts people up with his sword. It is a very pretty sword, though.
1
6
92
1,592
Gweh
2
1
22
1,107
Must we kill the myth even as we bury the real? Are we truly allowed nothing but becoming?
4
16
1,246
Bought a powerful enchanted blade that only harms those with darkness in their hearts. Which, it turns out, is way more people than I expected. Sword seems to work on everyone. Very disappointing to learn how terrible everyone is, but my quest to vanquish all evil must continue.
76
2,345
26,825
371,444
Nooo, that wasn't me, it was the cursed amulet! I'd never say something like that to you! Ha, just kidding, it was totally me. Idiot.
2
32
244
4,403
Oh, I get it. So I'm the bad guy just because I'm the one hurting people with my unkind words and irresponsible behavior? I see how it is.
20
2,964
21,987
472,944
Halfway through a recipe video and the guy says "this is a little trick my nonna from Italy taught me" and sneezes six times in a row, all over his lamb ragu
8
344
4,648
You could spend hours in Indiana. Hours of your life. Precious and irreplaceable. Gone, forever. In Indiana.
453
5,363
60,368
1,374,051
Nobody tells you how to work the laces, is the thing. First you have the velcro. And that's easy, you piece that together no problem. You get used to that. And then, suddenly, everything is laces. They change the whole game on you, and you're just expected to figure it out.
1
15
206
5,848
Fiddle and a string bass. An untuned guitar. All clumsily played, by aging, unpracticed strangers. But half-heard from the churchyard, dusk long past, it was enough to leave you tearful. Why did the Spirit never lead you to move your hands like that? In communion? In song?
1
32
1,901
You were in a dream I had, where the people were shapes, and so were you. And all the other shapes surrounded you, and they lifted you up, and they foisted you into the air, and you never came back down. You drifted forever. You were lost in the sky.
8
73
2,773
Been following people around hoping we end up common law married before they realize what's going on, but it's been hard to break the two-hour mark without them asking all sorts of difficult questions like "who are you?" and "are you following me?" Of course I am. We're in love.
1
7
139
3,159
A shift in the light, and the clouds became mountains. I was driving west, across the plains. Light shifts again, and the clouds are just clouds. I'm driving south, out of town. It was like that. None of it means anything, really. I'm just explaining how it was.
1
2
24
1,350
So, apparently, killing the old king doesn't make you the new king. You actually have to kill way more guys than that. But they don't tell you that beforehand. So you can kill the king and think everyone's gonna be cool about it, but then you actually end up in a lot of trouble.
143
2,545
34,372
1,432,665
I wouldn't do that if I were you. I wouldn't do anything at all. I'd just waste away, day after day, until it became unclear whether I ever was to begin with.
1
26
199
6,202