Summer recap:

Equity analysts when credit guys start talking about liens

LO PM says we're not allowed to buy credit default swaps

$ROL has officially been cut in half

Ah yes. Operating Expenses day

When a tweet has one like and one bookmark

In the office on a Friday

Remembering that the Fed still has 1.3 Germanys on its balance sheet

Jensen Huang every single day

Does this count as insider trading @matt_levine

Reached the age where hangover anxiety has shifted from "did I do something stupid" to "is my career safe from AI"

Miss the old days where the leading edge of tech was a helpful app or bigger screen instead of "we made huge progress on Self Extinction"

I'm also a VP at a big bank in NYC and I see a lot of misconceptions about what I do. So here's a typical Day in the Life: 7:30am: morning coffee. it's extra delicious because my bank imports the finest Colombian coffee picked with exploited child labor 8am: Catch up on overnight news and get updates on overseas wars where we finance both sides 9:30am: market opens. High five my citadel handler on another beautiful day to frontrun retail clients 11am: flock camera out front identifies a passing single mother with no credit card debt. Immediately give her a free credit card with a low low interest rate of 65% 11:30am: new pollution regulations threaten to harm maritime shipping profitability. Call local congressman and instruct to kill bill Noon: time for lunch. Slop bowl from cava today because we got advance notice of a lettuce recall from sweetgreen CEO. 12:05pm: sell our sweetgreen shares before the FDA announces said recall 1pm: pick up our daily tithe of shekels from the vault and deliver to Israeli consulate 1:30pm: conference call with lockheed martin. They want to issue debt to finance a factory for new cutting edge bombs that can specially target Gazan women and children. Expedite loan approval. 3pm: in person, all hands meeting with local Epstein associates. Female interns invited 4pm: market closes. Another all time high. Well done boys 4:45pm: invite ICE agents for roundtable on new financial monitoring tools we're developing to identify undocumented immigrants. Deliver today's list of local deportable migrants 7pm: work dinner at michelin starred restaurant where we dine on the finest cuts of proletariat 9pm: after party at underground club with trafficked women. Force her to take plan b and seize her passport a few weeks until she gets her period 11pm: time for bed! Go to sleep grateful i can make the world a better place each and every day