I think one of the roughest things about being a streamer with any sort of unpredictable chronic illness is the fear that my community will feel let down when i have to put my health first
Every cancelled stream or halfdone event because my health decides to decline randomly is another jab at me, and one that leaves me with way more guilt than it probably should
I have so many ideas and so many things I want to do, but so little energy to put into the things I love
I should be able to keep a simple schedule, i should be able to just sit and talk or play games for a few hours, it shouldn't be this hard to do
I'm so greatful to my community for sticking around, even when these things happen, but it's hard to not let that guilt take over some days