Biscuits, potroast, fond hugs, and sundry aphorisms in bio.
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Despite the fact that my Twitter feed often consists of taking shots at the appalling state of the world, I am not a morose or despairing person.
I’m a joyous cynic and a gladsome naysayer.
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Cue my standard response to the horror of the upper classes at “Build a wall!” Pretty easy stance to take when you already HAVE a wall for yourselves. Built of wealth and privilege. The poor and lower working class do not live in environments thus safely curated. They do. They want to keep THEIR wall, whose benefits they are mostly blind to, while shaming the very idea of the masses needing one.
I recently joined a fancy gym and health club and everyone is polite and most people don’t bother locking away their belongings.
So I’m pleased to report that high-trust environments still do exist in Britain, and sorry to report that they’re really fucking expensive.
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KeepCalmAndDrawl ☦️ retweeted
Hearing my late mother of blessed memory in my head this morning, who would not accept “Well, I just feel in my heart that…” as an answer to a straight question. Her: “I did not ask you what you felt in your heart. I asked you to THINK in your head.”
Thanks, Mama.
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If you teach your daughters nothing else, teach them that there is a vast gulf between feeling a thing and doing a thing. Never let them blur that line. Emotions are not shameful - and yes we have more variations and swings in those than men do. Your agency lies in what you DO, not what you feel. Never let your daughter buy the lie that she IS her emotions.
Since I’m older, it horrifies me. Not because it is revealing something about women *naturally* seeing themselves as unaccountable in any way - I know this is not “natural” to women because I was alive when this wasn’t the case at all. This is a product of entire generations of women being carefully taught they have zero responsibility for whatever actions their strong emotions provoke.
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KeepCalmAndDrawl ☦️ retweeted
Until we once again regain the full spectrum of appropriate social response, it will not matter whether the moral/social code being promoted is the Woke 2.0 religion, or some other one. We’ll seesaw between reactive overkill and “Screw it - no rules, then” because fuzzy-boundaried judgement and moderation is a developed skill that cannot be reduced to “these are da rules.” And it’s a skill we no longer develop, so we will remain in the land of battling rule sets vs all-rules-are-bad.
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We as a culture have lost all ability to maintain **fuzzy and slightly shifting but still very real** social boundaries. As a result, we end up with only two choices: Total free-for-all or draconian absolutely defined rule with OTT enforcement. Every behavior must be either applauded or viciously repressed. There is no room anymore for that very sane and useful cultural middle ground of “this gets some side-eye and social distance, but not a full-on attack mob”
1. Shameful things may be shameful, but shaming people for shameful things is bad (i.e. shameful)
2. When shaming becomes shameful, people shame much less (the desired result)
3. When shaming becomes much reduced, shameful behavior explodes, because there's nothing preventing it (the unintended consequence)
4. We should never, as a culture, have attempted to make shaming shameful. Shameful things ought to be shamed, even if it's "mean." Shaming ought not to be regarded as shameful cruelty, but as praiseworthy maintenance of civilizational standards
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Until we once again regain the full spectrum of appropriate social response, it will not matter whether the moral/social code being promoted is the Woke 2.0 religion, or some other one. We’ll seesaw between reactive overkill and “Screw it - no rules, then” because fuzzy-boundaried judgement and moderation is a developed skill that cannot be reduced to “these are da rules.” And it’s a skill we no longer develop, so we will remain in the land of battling rule sets vs all-rules-are-bad.
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KeepCalmAndDrawl ☦️ retweeted
All you girlbosses need to understand that every single time your arg basically consists of “Sir, you wound me!” you have just been SUCH A GIRL. And that’s totally fine, btw - so long as you own it as a vulnerability display perfectly appropriate for a WOMAN to do, and stop trying to pretend it’s something else.
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Almost 6 years ago, and still one of my best threads imo.
Women need to stop retreating behind their petticoats and whining “misogyny” at every criticism of a powerful woman.
That’s a vulnerability display - and is such a *stereotypically feminine* way of getting a man to back off that it’s hilarious.
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All you girlbosses need to understand that every single time your arg basically consists of “Sir, you wound me!” you have just been SUCH A GIRL. And that’s totally fine, btw - so long as you own it as a vulnerability display perfectly appropriate for a WOMAN to do, and stop trying to pretend it’s something else.
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KeepCalmAndDrawl ☦️ retweeted
I also got babied that same visit, albeit by a female employee. She kinda knows me though, and spied me loading groceries as she was collecting carts. “Heeeey, baby! Did you highlight your hair?? We chatted a sec. She has hot flashes these days. And her grandson won an art award. Random women in parking lots tell you these things down here. 😂
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No. The butcher at Food Lion called me honey just yesterday. There were none of the on-sale roasts in the case, and the sweet man said “Hold on, honey, I think I still have some in the back…” This is the south. It’s how we do. Don’t come down here if you don’t wish to be babied, honeyed, and darlin’ed.
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I also got babied that same visit, albeit by a female employee. She kinda knows me though, and spied me loading groceries as she was collecting carts. “Heeeey, baby! Did you highlight your hair?? We chatted a sec. She has hot flashes these days. And her grandson won an art award. Random women in parking lots tell you these things down here. 😂
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If you think that politics is ever wholly rational, think again. This right here is the truth of the matter. Also, it is a very good thing to practice the art of being **wholly unemotional** about politics. Because your side can do crusading crowd-frenzies too (though the modern left is admittedly more prone to them.)
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Current status: Laughing with fam over the time almost 40 years ago that my nephew and son (same age) tried to flush a Ninja Turtle action figure down my toilet. And were utterly and soberly logical in explaining that the sewer is where they LIVE, so of course.
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Excellent - the whole thing. One great advantage to our moving back to my hometown after a couple of decades in other places was the re-integration into the whole fam’s I Got a Guy Network.
I mentioned that my garage door was making a sound.
An American immediately said, "I got a guy."
He did not ask what the sound was. He did not ask what kind of door. He produced a guy on the basis of the word garage.
I asked who the guy was.
He said, "Just a guy."
He did not have a company name. He had a first name and a phone number in his phone saved as "Mike Garage."
That is the contact name. Mike Garage. As though Garage is his surname. As though there is a family.
I asked how he found this guy.
"My brother-in-law used him."
I asked if the brother-in-law was satisfied.
He thought about it. Then he said, "He's still standing."
The house is still standing. That is the entire review.
Inside I said: THEY DO NOT KEEP RECORDS. THEY KEEP LOYALTIES.
I called Mike Garage. He answered from inside a vehicle. There was wind. He said he could come Tuesday between eleven and four.
Between eleven and four. A window of five hours. In my country this would be a scandal. Here it is generous. He gave me a window at all. Some guys do not give you a window. Some guys say "Tuesday" and that is the whole appointment.
He came at 1:40.
He fixed it in twenty minutes. He charged me less than I expected and he did not take a card, only cash or an app I had never heard of.
Before leaving he looked at my water heater, which I had not mentioned, and said, "That's gonna go."
I asked when.
"Couple years."
I asked what I should do.
He said, "I'll give you a guy."
He gave me a guy. Mike Garage has a guy. The guy has a guy. There is a network beneath this country made entirely of men named after their function, and none of them advertise, and all of them are busy.
Inside I said: THERE IS A SECOND NATION HERE. IT HAS NO SIGNS. IT IS ENTERED ONLY BY INTRODUCTION.
I have been given four guys since.
I have a guy for trees.
I did not know I needed a guy for trees.
I have trees now, apparently. They are my responsibility. A man named Rick told me so and then left.
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On the current “Why don’t men like therapy?” discourse:
I raised two boys and two girls. I found that while talking was *sometimes* necessary for all 4, the girls benefited more from that, and the boys more often benefitted from being given something physical to DO. Granted, we’re not talking major trauma here. That’s different. But for ordinary emotional ups and downs, there was an obvious divide in what approach was most helpful.
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I’m old. I smoked weed a bit (socially) when young. Tried it again a few years ago - wanted to see if it would do anything for my joint pain. It is not the same stuff - at all. I don’t just mean stronger, I mean it’s a different **sort** of high. Hard to describe, but not a good feeling. And it reeked horribly, which it didn’t when I was young. Ugh. No thanks.
i've noticed walking around any major city that it reaks of weed. I think one issue stems from how powerful and concentrated the strains are now. literally annihilating peoples brains.
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