Senator Schmitt: Did you, on Oct 3, go to Columbia MD to rock out to Foo Fighters, Dave Matthews, Public Enemy, and Bruce Springsteen at the so called "Power to the People festival"?
Jack Smith: Yes, that was me.
If you are going to bring your children to a campaign rally, please write their weight on a piece of masking tape so politicians can easily see whether they can successfully lift them or not.
#TXPol: "I'm Texas Senator Angela Paxton. People have asked my thoughts about this election and turns out, I have some ... I'm voting for the Republican ticket on November 3rd."
Texas PAC is up with a new ad featuring Angela Paxton, Ken Paxton's estranged wife.
This is:
- The Temu bridesmaid catalogue
- The Ms. Mar-a-Lago pageant runners-up
- A girl group called Nepo Chix
- Contestants who left The Bachelor in the first round
- Lineup for So You Want To Be Pete Hegseth's Next Wife
This is:
- A remake of Pretty Woman set at a Dallas senior center
- When you ask AI to create the first married Bond villains
- That couple on Dateline two days after murdering their spouses for the insurance money
- A cartel boss and his mistress right before their arrest
In a Washingtonian interview, Natalie Harp says "every morning I listen to a few chapters of the Bible on audiobook." These chapters include:
- The Book of Kayleigh
- Abraham's Commandments For Pleasuring A 175-Year-Old Man
- The Ambitious Concubine's Prayer
- The Gospel of Gout
In case you missed Susan Collins embroiled in a pay-to-play scheme…
Maine, it’s time to send Susan Collins packing this November. We can’t afford six more years of being sold out to Trump and Collins’ corporate cronies.
Trump now says his planned arch will be storage for military drones and ammo. It will also house:
- Melania's out-of-season furs and capes
- Ivanka's old body parts
- Barrels of Don Jr's emergency cocaine
- A concubine dorm
- The Epstein Files
- A Putin guest suite
This is:
- The poster in Bari Weiss's bedroom
- What Mike Johnson thinks about during sex with his wife
- Right before brunch with Hitler
- Just two bros trying to impress Melania
- The last time Trump could see his feet
- The cover of The Alan Dershowitz Workout DVD
SHOCKING NEWS: President Trump has Declared that North and Central America are now part of the United States of America.
No More Borders. No more Deportations. No more ICE. Everyone is Welcome. Everyone can Vote.
Wow! I didn’t see this coming.
Mike Johnson said Trump's convention event was "totally sold out", and then the camera panned across the empty seats. Mike explained, "When I said 'totally sold out' I was talking about myself"