I grew up in a Jewish private school where I was taught the answers long before I was encouraged to ask the questions.
Every day I recited prayers in Hebrew I didn’t really understand. I studied the Bible, but there wasn’t much room to question it or explore other paths.
I was never taught anything bad about Christianity or Jesus... just that he wasn’t the Messiah - end of conversation.
And it weirdly created something deep inside me. Whenever I went to church with a friend, I would physically feel like I was doing something wrong. Like I was crossing a line I wasn’t supposed to cross.
I still have that feeling to this day... but there’s another part of this that makes it more complicated.
Over the years I got very deep into meditation, brain and heart coherence, and spending long periods in silence.
And through that, I felt G-d more deeply than I ever had through religion.
At times my entire body would fill with so much love it felt like my heart was exploding open. There was one experience in particular I’ll save for another post...
Anyways... it created almost the opposite question for me.
Do we even need religion to know G-d?
If you can experience that connection directly, what role do scripture and religion play?
I’ve wondered whether religion is partly a structure for accessing something that can also be found through deep inner work and silence.
But then I look at what religion can give a family like shared values, tradition, community and something bigger than ourselves... and I deeply value that too.
Now I’m married to a Catholic woman and raising kids of my own, so these questions feel much more important.
What did Jesus actually teach? Why was I never encouraged to seriously explore it? How do I give my kids a strong spiritual foundation while also giving them the freedom to question, explore, and develop a relationship with G-d that is actually theirs?
I don’t have the answers, which is probably why I’m more interested in the questions than ever.
So I’m excited to check out
@jordanmenard's Bible study tonight.
Not because I’m looking for someone to tell me what to believe, but because I want to explore something I was never really encouraged to.