I promise I understand if you genuinely cannot do it, and I don’t want you putting yourself in a difficult situation because of me. But if you CAN afford it and the only thing standing between me and that $5,000 is whether I can successfully convince you, then PLEASE consider this my official campaign.
@pp_privatejet
I am begging.
I am pleading.
I am requesting.
I am humbly submitting my application to the Department of Please Bless Me Financially.
Please approve my application 😭😭😭.
And yes, I know I have absolutely stretched this message beyond reasonable limits, but I need you to understand my level of commitment here. A normal request clearly wasn’t enough for $5,000. This amount deserves paragraphs. It deserves an introduction, body, conclusion, references, appendix and possibly a PowerPoint presentation.
So here is my final plea: please, please, PLEASE gift me $5,000. I will be ridiculously grateful. I will appreciate it properly. I will remember your kindness for a very long time, and you will have successfully made one extremely persistent person unbelievably happy.