Friends and relationships come and go but the Red Sox are forever and always. A day spent watching college basketball is a day well spent
Wherever
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LONG STORY ALERT HERE:
Some of you know the first part of this story, but I promise you, you don't know the last part cause this whole health thing has been a winding fucking road....
So, for brevity’s sake, I’ll try and fast forward through this as best as possible. I spent the first part of my 20’s as a college football coach. This will come into play later in the story. I worked at Duke in 2007 for the football coaching staff and I was on the football staff in 2008 at UCF. Before I went to work at Duke though, I had a 3 spinal surgeries before my 22nd birthday, and a 4th one at Duke Hospital. Two of them were very big spinal fusions. I'm 6'6'', and at my healthiest and skinniest, I weighed 280lbs (this was when I was probably 17 years old...so not exactly "adulthod"). And nobody would know that I weighed that much because it doesn't look like it.
In 2011 I owned a pizza shop with my family, and one morning I woke up and I wasn’t able to use my left leg. I had a bunch of spinal surgeries, and long story short, I did a whole bunch of nerve damage and my brain lost the ability to communicate with my left leg (below the knee). So no big deal. I spent 3 years crutching around like I had a broken leg. We sold the pizza shop, and I got a regular job at BNY Mellon. All good.
In October 2014, I came down with a simple case of pneumonia. It however was not simple. Again, long story short, I was hospitalized with it. My heart and my lungs started to fail. I was placed on life support. I was able to come off days later, and I had a lot of complications. I started developing blood clots in my lungs. Then I started to massively bleed internally.
I was in the hospital for 2 months enduring procedure after procedure to try and help my body. It’s not a stretch to say that I should’ve died about 4-5 times during this whole thing.
Because all of these issues, the doctors believe I had a small stroke that affects my ability to swallow. I still struggle to swallow really hard foods. I have a feeding tube just in case. I’m able to swallow liquids and eat softer foods, actually getting better with food as we speak. I exercise frequently, 6-7 days a week in the football offseason, and 4-5 days during the season. My doctors in Cleveland and Boston believe I was born with a form of MD that I was able to compensate around, and the stroke really hurt those compensation skills.
Years and years of physical therapy and speach therapy...I got to a place where I could exist. Was I ever gonna be in excellent shape? Nope. Was I ever gonna swallow normally again? Nope. But was I at a manageable place in my life? I was. (Sometimes "manageable" has to be good enough).
But years of not moving a ton and being in a wheelchair.....it's not great for your physical health in a thousand ways. Could I have eaten better? Yeah. Did I make some foolish mistakes with what I put in my mouth? Sometimes. Do I own it? I sure do. What I will say to all that is, when your activity levels are low, you can be strict as all hell about your diet, but it is hard to lose without help.
In March of 2025 I needed another massive spinal fusion. When I had my downturn in February of 2025, I weighed about 380 pounds (I was down about 60lbs at this point) and I was feeling really good (with the use of a GLP1, full disclosure), and more importantly (to me, because I'm vain as hell) I looked damn good. In the 8 weeks between onset of the problem in my spine, I gained probably 25lbs. I wasn't moving at all. I could not even stand up straight, much less move.
On my date of surgery they weighed me before the operation, and after 6 hours of surgery, I "gained" 30lbs. It was pure water weight....I looked and felt like I was going to burst like a bubble. The surgery turned me septic and I couldn’t eat food for a month along with a few other infections that extended my hospital stay to about a month. That was one helluva first week in the hospital. Recovering from a spinal fusion at 40 was so god damn different than recovering from a fusion at 23. I had completely underestimated that 17 year difference.
When I was in the rehab facility, I was a mess with all my pain and complications. On the 2nd day I was there, now understand, I hadn't been put on water pills yet, so I still had that 30lbs on my face and in my stomach and in my legs, but on the 2nd day I was there, a neurologist (who had nothing to do with my case) came in and said "It is imperative that you lose weight" (which I 100% agreed to) and then said "If I was your brother and I had an unlimited budget, I would fly you to the moon and ziptie your mouth shut so you couldn't put anything in your mouth". I shook my head because I was just too exhausted to say anything at that point. I was not in a great place physically, so if he thought he hurt me with that comment....buddy, that didn't even land in the top 10 of the things that were bothering me that day.
Slowly but surely, I got better. I was put on the proper medicine and within a week dropped 30-40lbs and kept dropping cause I had an infection, so there was no eating going on over here. And I rehabbed....I rehabbed as hard as I could. And May came, and I was at a good level, then June came and I was at a better level, getting back in shape a little bit, and then July came and I was really getting better, still dropping weight (I got down to about 365lbs or so in the middle of July of 2025).
But, as life can be one cruel bitch, it wasn't to last. I relapsed with my spine in September of 2025. It sucked, but I knew it right away. Only the imaging didn't quite confirm it. I was just in agony and I could not move again. I couldn't sleep in my bed (still can't 10 months later) without crying and ruining my body for the next day. So my neurosurgeon gave me 2 options....he could re-open my spine and replace some screws and fuse my back at a higher level to see if that made me feel better, or I could try and have a spinal cord stimulator inserted, to help deal with the pain. One was high risk with an uncertain outcome and the stimulator was more of a medium risk with a pretty high success rate at managing pain.
So I went against my natural aggressive instincts and I said "let's go with the lower risk option this time". And everything was going well towards having that surgery before Christmas of 2025.
BUT WE'VE GOT A FLAG ON THE PLAY......in the imaging that they did on all the areas of my spine, they found a tumor on my thyroid. And of course after a couple rounds of testing, because I can't do anything easy, it absolutely was cancer. So all spinal cord treatments had to be put on the backburner. I needed thyroid surgery. So I had my thyroid fully removed about a week before Christmas last year. I needed to recover from that surgery and then I needed to have a radiation treatment to kill off any cancer left inside.
To get my thyroid levels back to regulated again with the right dosage of medicine (which they aren't to this day) I had to wait until mid-April to start the process of scheduling the spinal cord stimulator insertion. That's 8 months or so of every day, just pain after pain after pain. And no movement.....so very little movement.
On May 4th, I had the spinal cord stimulator inserted, and I was told "give it a month, it will work...."well, we're at 10 weeks now and I'm in complete and utter agony. I'm not complaining, I'm just stating facts...I still can barely move.
I saw my spinal surgeon 8 weeks or so after the stimulator insertion, and he said "we're looking at a bigger surgery now. But I've got a problem. You're at an unhealthy weight for me to operate on you at. I'm so sorry, but I feel like I could be putting you in danger if I go in with you being this way."
There were so many emotions when I heard that sentence, but I really struggled with hearing what I heard. I wasn't mad at the doctor at all about it, to be clear. I completely understood his point and I agree with it.
So later that day, amidst all of the emotions that I was feeling, I made an appointment with gastric bypass doctor. And I'm starting down the process of having the full gastric bypass (hopefully some time around Labor Day, fingers crossed). If anyone would like to judge me, just know, nothing that you could say to me is something that I haven't already said about myself. When I made the appointment I was filled with anger (at myself), shame, disappointment, embarrassment, fear, and frustration (at everything). As I've gone down this road for a couple weeks now, and I've had to take some courses about the process and my life after and I've had to meat with a psychologist and a nutritionist, I've started the process of giving myself a little grace, but it is very much a work in progress.
The plan is to have the gastric bypass hopefully in early September, and follow the rules and guidelines and follow the plan and get some real weight off my body, and then have the much bigger back surgery some time in the spring of 2027.
I write all this not for my own good, and this is certainly not a play for sympathy...no thank you. I'm doing this because I've got a pretty good life, and there are people out there who have it a whole helluva lot worse than I do, and maybe hearing this will help them somehow. I don't know. I'm not big on the "motivational tweets" or "inspiring and uplifting posts" (I've got way too much Northeast cynicism in me to be any good at that). But I do hope that maybe this story does reach someone and maybe, at the very least it distracts them for 5 minutes from their hard life. So please share (if you want...I'm good either way).
And I know this goes without saying.....watch out ladies, hopefully in the spring of 2027 I'm Bringing Sexy Back
P.S. I just showed my age with that last line
P.P.S. I'm just kidding....sexy never really left
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ITS TELL THE TRUTH TUESDAY (I’m aware that’s it’s Monday
Gastric surgery tomorrow! Tonight’s weigh in: 410lbs
I’m ready to roll baby! Let’s see where this ends up (I know I need spine surgery in 2027, but this is a big step!
See you in 2 weeks for next weigh in!
LONG STORY ALERT HERE:
Some of you know the first part of this story, but I promise you, you don't know the last part cause this whole health thing has been a winding fucking road....
So, for brevity’s sake, I’ll try and fast forward through this as best as possible. I spent the first part of my 20’s as a college football coach. This will come into play later in the story. I worked at Duke in 2007 for the football coaching staff and I was on the football staff in 2008 at UCF. Before I went to work at Duke though, I had a 3 spinal surgeries before my 22nd birthday, and a 4th one at Duke Hospital. Two of them were very big spinal fusions. I'm 6'6'', and at my healthiest and skinniest, I weighed 280lbs (this was when I was probably 17 years old...so not exactly "adulthod"). And nobody would know that I weighed that much because it doesn't look like it.
In 2011 I owned a pizza shop with my family, and one morning I woke up and I wasn’t able to use my left leg. I had a bunch of spinal surgeries, and long story short, I did a whole bunch of nerve damage and my brain lost the ability to communicate with my left leg (below the knee). So no big deal. I spent 3 years crutching around like I had a broken leg. We sold the pizza shop, and I got a regular job at BNY Mellon. All good.
In October 2014, I came down with a simple case of pneumonia. It however was not simple. Again, long story short, I was hospitalized with it. My heart and my lungs started to fail. I was placed on life support. I was able to come off days later, and I had a lot of complications. I started developing blood clots in my lungs. Then I started to massively bleed internally.
I was in the hospital for 2 months enduring procedure after procedure to try and help my body. It’s not a stretch to say that I should’ve died about 4-5 times during this whole thing.
Because all of these issues, the doctors believe I had a small stroke that affects my ability to swallow. I still struggle to swallow really hard foods. I have a feeding tube just in case. I’m able to swallow liquids and eat softer foods, actually getting better with food as we speak. I exercise frequently, 6-7 days a week in the football offseason, and 4-5 days during the season. My doctors in Cleveland and Boston believe I was born with a form of MD that I was able to compensate around, and the stroke really hurt those compensation skills.
Years and years of physical therapy and speach therapy...I got to a place where I could exist. Was I ever gonna be in excellent shape? Nope. Was I ever gonna swallow normally again? Nope. But was I at a manageable place in my life? I was. (Sometimes "manageable" has to be good enough).
But years of not moving a ton and being in a wheelchair.....it's not great for your physical health in a thousand ways. Could I have eaten better? Yeah. Did I make some foolish mistakes with what I put in my mouth? Sometimes. Do I own it? I sure do. What I will say to all that is, when your activity levels are low, you can be strict as all hell about your diet, but it is hard to lose without help.
In March of 2025 I needed another massive spinal fusion. When I had my downturn in February of 2025, I weighed about 380 pounds (I was down about 60lbs at this point) and I was feeling really good (with the use of a GLP1, full disclosure), and more importantly (to me, because I'm vain as hell) I looked damn good. In the 8 weeks between onset of the problem in my spine, I gained probably 25lbs. I wasn't moving at all. I could not even stand up straight, much less move.
On my date of surgery they weighed me before the operation, and after 6 hours of surgery, I "gained" 30lbs. It was pure water weight....I looked and felt like I was going to burst like a bubble. The surgery turned me septic and I couldn’t eat food for a month along with a few other infections that extended my hospital stay to about a month. That was one helluva first week in the hospital. Recovering from a spinal fusion at 40 was so god damn different than recovering from a fusion at 23. I had completely underestimated that 17 year difference.
When I was in the rehab facility, I was a mess with all my pain and complications. On the 2nd day I was there, now understand, I hadn't been put on water pills yet, so I still had that 30lbs on my face and in my stomach and in my legs, but on the 2nd day I was there, a neurologist (who had nothing to do with my case) came in and said "It is imperative that you lose weight" (which I 100% agreed to) and then said "If I was your brother and I had an unlimited budget, I would fly you to the moon and ziptie your mouth shut so you couldn't put anything in your mouth". I shook my head because I was just too exhausted to say anything at that point. I was not in a great place physically, so if he thought he hurt me with that comment....buddy, that didn't even land in the top 10 of the things that were bothering me that day.
Slowly but surely, I got better. I was put on the proper medicine and within a week dropped 30-40lbs and kept dropping cause I had an infection, so there was no eating going on over here. And I rehabbed....I rehabbed as hard as I could. And May came, and I was at a good level, then June came and I was at a better level, getting back in shape a little bit, and then July came and I was really getting better, still dropping weight (I got down to about 365lbs or so in the middle of July of 2025).
But, as life can be one cruel bitch, it wasn't to last. I relapsed with my spine in September of 2025. It sucked, but I knew it right away. Only the imaging didn't quite confirm it. I was just in agony and I could not move again. I couldn't sleep in my bed (still can't 10 months later) without crying and ruining my body for the next day. So my neurosurgeon gave me 2 options....he could re-open my spine and replace some screws and fuse my back at a higher level to see if that made me feel better, or I could try and have a spinal cord stimulator inserted, to help deal with the pain. One was high risk with an uncertain outcome and the stimulator was more of a medium risk with a pretty high success rate at managing pain.
So I went against my natural aggressive instincts and I said "let's go with the lower risk option this time". And everything was going well towards having that surgery before Christmas of 2025.
BUT WE'VE GOT A FLAG ON THE PLAY......in the imaging that they did on all the areas of my spine, they found a tumor on my thyroid. And of course after a couple rounds of testing, because I can't do anything easy, it absolutely was cancer. So all spinal cord treatments had to be put on the backburner. I needed thyroid surgery. So I had my thyroid fully removed about a week before Christmas last year. I needed to recover from that surgery and then I needed to have a radiation treatment to kill off any cancer left inside.
To get my thyroid levels back to regulated again with the right dosage of medicine (which they aren't to this day) I had to wait until mid-April to start the process of scheduling the spinal cord stimulator insertion. That's 8 months or so of every day, just pain after pain after pain. And no movement.....so very little movement.
On May 4th, I had the spinal cord stimulator inserted, and I was told "give it a month, it will work...."well, we're at 10 weeks now and I'm in complete and utter agony. I'm not complaining, I'm just stating facts...I still can barely move.
I saw my spinal surgeon 8 weeks or so after the stimulator insertion, and he said "we're looking at a bigger surgery now. But I've got a problem. You're at an unhealthy weight for me to operate on you at. I'm so sorry, but I feel like I could be putting you in danger if I go in with you being this way."
There were so many emotions when I heard that sentence, but I really struggled with hearing what I heard. I wasn't mad at the doctor at all about it, to be clear. I completely understood his point and I agree with it.
So later that day, amidst all of the emotions that I was feeling, I made an appointment with gastric bypass doctor. And I'm starting down the process of having the full gastric bypass (hopefully some time around Labor Day, fingers crossed). If anyone would like to judge me, just know, nothing that you could say to me is something that I haven't already said about myself. When I made the appointment I was filled with anger (at myself), shame, disappointment, embarrassment, fear, and frustration (at everything). As I've gone down this road for a couple weeks now, and I've had to take some courses about the process and my life after and I've had to meat with a psychologist and a nutritionist, I've started the process of giving myself a little grace, but it is very much a work in progress.
The plan is to have the gastric bypass hopefully in early September, and follow the rules and guidelines and follow the plan and get some real weight off my body, and then have the much bigger back surgery some time in the spring of 2027.
I write all this not for my own good, and this is certainly not a play for sympathy...no thank you. I'm doing this because I've got a pretty good life, and there are people out there who have it a whole helluva lot worse than I do, and maybe hearing this will help them somehow. I don't know. I'm not big on the "motivational tweets" or "inspiring and uplifting posts" (I've got way too much Northeast cynicism in me to be any good at that). But I do hope that maybe this story does reach someone and maybe, at the very least it distracts them for 5 minutes from their hard life. So please share (if you want...I'm good either way).
And I know this goes without saying.....watch out ladies, hopefully in the spring of 2027 I'm Bringing Sexy Back
P.S. I just showed my age with that last line
P.P.S. I'm just kidding....sexy never really left
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Today is the 15th anniversary of the day I lost the ability to walk. Wow. Crazy man. Just crazy. What a wild ride. But these 15 years….as Ronnie Milsap sang…I wouldn’t have missed it for the world. Here’s to 15 more just like it!
LONG STORY ALERT HERE:
Some of you know the first part of this story, but I promise you, you don't know the last part cause this whole health thing has been a winding fucking road....
So, for brevity’s sake, I’ll try and fast forward through this as best as possible. I spent the first part of my 20’s as a college football coach. This will come into play later in the story. I worked at Duke in 2007 for the football coaching staff and I was on the football staff in 2008 at UCF. Before I went to work at Duke though, I had a 3 spinal surgeries before my 22nd birthday, and a 4th one at Duke Hospital. Two of them were very big spinal fusions. I'm 6'6'', and at my healthiest and skinniest, I weighed 280lbs (this was when I was probably 17 years old...so not exactly "adulthod"). And nobody would know that I weighed that much because it doesn't look like it.
In 2011 I owned a pizza shop with my family, and one morning I woke up and I wasn’t able to use my left leg. I had a bunch of spinal surgeries, and long story short, I did a whole bunch of nerve damage and my brain lost the ability to communicate with my left leg (below the knee). So no big deal. I spent 3 years crutching around like I had a broken leg. We sold the pizza shop, and I got a regular job at BNY Mellon. All good.
In October 2014, I came down with a simple case of pneumonia. It however was not simple. Again, long story short, I was hospitalized with it. My heart and my lungs started to fail. I was placed on life support. I was able to come off days later, and I had a lot of complications. I started developing blood clots in my lungs. Then I started to massively bleed internally.
I was in the hospital for 2 months enduring procedure after procedure to try and help my body. It’s not a stretch to say that I should’ve died about 4-5 times during this whole thing.
Because all of these issues, the doctors believe I had a small stroke that affects my ability to swallow. I still struggle to swallow really hard foods. I have a feeding tube just in case. I’m able to swallow liquids and eat softer foods, actually getting better with food as we speak. I exercise frequently, 6-7 days a week in the football offseason, and 4-5 days during the season. My doctors in Cleveland and Boston believe I was born with a form of MD that I was able to compensate around, and the stroke really hurt those compensation skills.
Years and years of physical therapy and speach therapy...I got to a place where I could exist. Was I ever gonna be in excellent shape? Nope. Was I ever gonna swallow normally again? Nope. But was I at a manageable place in my life? I was. (Sometimes "manageable" has to be good enough).
But years of not moving a ton and being in a wheelchair.....it's not great for your physical health in a thousand ways. Could I have eaten better? Yeah. Did I make some foolish mistakes with what I put in my mouth? Sometimes. Do I own it? I sure do. What I will say to all that is, when your activity levels are low, you can be strict as all hell about your diet, but it is hard to lose without help.
In March of 2025 I needed another massive spinal fusion. When I had my downturn in February of 2025, I weighed about 380 pounds (I was down about 60lbs at this point) and I was feeling really good (with the use of a GLP1, full disclosure), and more importantly (to me, because I'm vain as hell) I looked damn good. In the 8 weeks between onset of the problem in my spine, I gained probably 25lbs. I wasn't moving at all. I could not even stand up straight, much less move.
On my date of surgery they weighed me before the operation, and after 6 hours of surgery, I "gained" 30lbs. It was pure water weight....I looked and felt like I was going to burst like a bubble. The surgery turned me septic and I couldn’t eat food for a month along with a few other infections that extended my hospital stay to about a month. That was one helluva first week in the hospital. Recovering from a spinal fusion at 40 was so god damn different than recovering from a fusion at 23. I had completely underestimated that 17 year difference.
When I was in the rehab facility, I was a mess with all my pain and complications. On the 2nd day I was there, now understand, I hadn't been put on water pills yet, so I still had that 30lbs on my face and in my stomach and in my legs, but on the 2nd day I was there, a neurologist (who had nothing to do with my case) came in and said "It is imperative that you lose weight" (which I 100% agreed to) and then said "If I was your brother and I had an unlimited budget, I would fly you to the moon and ziptie your mouth shut so you couldn't put anything in your mouth". I shook my head because I was just too exhausted to say anything at that point. I was not in a great place physically, so if he thought he hurt me with that comment....buddy, that didn't even land in the top 10 of the things that were bothering me that day.
Slowly but surely, I got better. I was put on the proper medicine and within a week dropped 30-40lbs and kept dropping cause I had an infection, so there was no eating going on over here. And I rehabbed....I rehabbed as hard as I could. And May came, and I was at a good level, then June came and I was at a better level, getting back in shape a little bit, and then July came and I was really getting better, still dropping weight (I got down to about 365lbs or so in the middle of July of 2025).
But, as life can be one cruel bitch, it wasn't to last. I relapsed with my spine in September of 2025. It sucked, but I knew it right away. Only the imaging didn't quite confirm it. I was just in agony and I could not move again. I couldn't sleep in my bed (still can't 10 months later) without crying and ruining my body for the next day. So my neurosurgeon gave me 2 options....he could re-open my spine and replace some screws and fuse my back at a higher level to see if that made me feel better, or I could try and have a spinal cord stimulator inserted, to help deal with the pain. One was high risk with an uncertain outcome and the stimulator was more of a medium risk with a pretty high success rate at managing pain.
So I went against my natural aggressive instincts and I said "let's go with the lower risk option this time". And everything was going well towards having that surgery before Christmas of 2025.
BUT WE'VE GOT A FLAG ON THE PLAY......in the imaging that they did on all the areas of my spine, they found a tumor on my thyroid. And of course after a couple rounds of testing, because I can't do anything easy, it absolutely was cancer. So all spinal cord treatments had to be put on the backburner. I needed thyroid surgery. So I had my thyroid fully removed about a week before Christmas last year. I needed to recover from that surgery and then I needed to have a radiation treatment to kill off any cancer left inside.
To get my thyroid levels back to regulated again with the right dosage of medicine (which they aren't to this day) I had to wait until mid-April to start the process of scheduling the spinal cord stimulator insertion. That's 8 months or so of every day, just pain after pain after pain. And no movement.....so very little movement.
On May 4th, I had the spinal cord stimulator inserted, and I was told "give it a month, it will work...."well, we're at 10 weeks now and I'm in complete and utter agony. I'm not complaining, I'm just stating facts...I still can barely move.
I saw my spinal surgeon 8 weeks or so after the stimulator insertion, and he said "we're looking at a bigger surgery now. But I've got a problem. You're at an unhealthy weight for me to operate on you at. I'm so sorry, but I feel like I could be putting you in danger if I go in with you being this way."
There were so many emotions when I heard that sentence, but I really struggled with hearing what I heard. I wasn't mad at the doctor at all about it, to be clear. I completely understood his point and I agree with it.
So later that day, amidst all of the emotions that I was feeling, I made an appointment with gastric bypass doctor. And I'm starting down the process of having the full gastric bypass (hopefully some time around Labor Day, fingers crossed). If anyone would like to judge me, just know, nothing that you could say to me is something that I haven't already said about myself. When I made the appointment I was filled with anger (at myself), shame, disappointment, embarrassment, fear, and frustration (at everything). As I've gone down this road for a couple weeks now, and I've had to take some courses about the process and my life after and I've had to meat with a psychologist and a nutritionist, I've started the process of giving myself a little grace, but it is very much a work in progress.
The plan is to have the gastric bypass hopefully in early September, and follow the rules and guidelines and follow the plan and get some real weight off my body, and then have the much bigger back surgery some time in the spring of 2027.
I write all this not for my own good, and this is certainly not a play for sympathy...no thank you. I'm doing this because I've got a pretty good life, and there are people out there who have it a whole helluva lot worse than I do, and maybe hearing this will help them somehow. I don't know. I'm not big on the "motivational tweets" or "inspiring and uplifting posts" (I've got way too much Northeast cynicism in me to be any good at that). But I do hope that maybe this story does reach someone and maybe, at the very least it distracts them for 5 minutes from their hard life. So please share (if you want...I'm good either way).
And I know this goes without saying.....watch out ladies, hopefully in the spring of 2027 I'm Bringing Sexy Back
P.S. I just showed my age with that last line
P.P.S. I'm just kidding....sexy never really left
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Who else is donating tonight?!
@DanaFarber patients like Carson are the true stars of Fenway. ❤️
Donate now to support patients like her: jimmyfund.gives/KCANCER
#KCANCER
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2011-I lost the ability to walk
2014-I was on the brink of death and have had problems since
But I’ll take 2014 every day of the week and twice on Sunday. I got a niece in 2014. I beat 2014. I lost a lot of battles in 2014 but I won that war. And I’d do it all over again.
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