hi. welcome. venmo: Kimmy-Monte twitter.com/search/from:kimm…
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My 9 yo son just made this movie trailer and I literally cannot stop laughing.
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if you’re charging $40 for your haunted house i better be able to fuck a ghost or at the very least make pottery with one
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I hate when boxing announcers say a boxer is "down for the count." I don't care that he loves Dracula I just want to know who's winning.
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trader joe’s can literally package anything and people will buy it. pickle flavored pancake mix? it’s a fall favorite. pumpkin anchovies? sold out sorry. watermelon infused pork roast? great for your next bbq. elf cum hand lotion? perfect stocking stuffer
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my husband sends me pics every day of my pug waiting by the door while i’m at work so i guess my only option is to quit my job 😭
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Ok I've had enough apocalypse I'm ready to move onto post-apocalyptic times
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if i ran for president, my platform would just be “no new wars and no diarrhea” and then i’d release the epstein files so fast, id throw my back out
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your baseball pitcher name is your grandfather’s first name and the last thing you bought i’ll go first mine’s Dominic Sandals.
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golf is all like i want to wear weird pants and assault this egg but hockey is like i wanna give this frozen hamburger to my teammates bc i love them.
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