“Double Take”
Shirley was already on duty when I arrived, posted at the locked door of the memory unit like a small, determined sentry who had recently misplaced both her rank and her sense of time.
“Hi, Shirley. It’s Lisa. Pizza. Haircut optional. Clean clothes definitely. Your mother sent the pepperoni.”
She seized the box with the speed of a woman who had been waiting all afternoon for an excuse. Then she flung it. Not far. It went into my face. I caught it like a football. It landed, just far enough to establish jurisdiction.
“You big dummy. I want pepperoni.”
“Noted. But your mom bought this pepperoni.” “You’re lucky. I was gonna kick yer can all over town.”
“Shirley, God doesn’t want us to say that. I’m telling your mama.”
That was the magic phrase. She grabbed my arm, suddenly confidential, and began bargaining in a whisper…do not tell Mama. My arm stung. My arm is still stinging. I got home and cleaned it out. I trimmed her nails.
“My mama must never know. Mama would have opinions about pizza, about visitors.” And I added and about the entire architecture of this afternoon.” We both laughed.
I looked down. Shirley had two upper dentures stacked in her mouth like she was running a dental timeshare.
“Why the double set?”
She considered this with great seriousness.
“I have to do a double take.”
I did not laugh. That felt important.
We got the pizza plated and the Sprite in front of her with a straw. Gloves on, extra denture extracted with the quiet ceremony of someone disarming a very small, very personal bomb.
The nurse appeared, accepted the teeth with a cup, and looked at me the way people look when a civilian has just discovered the plot.
I delivered her clothes, next came a hair trim. Then I hugged her. She looked so innocent. I checked her pockets. She has teeth in her pocket.
When I asked her why she has all of these dentures.. she replied, “I am the new tooth fairy.”
Then two were hidden in her bathrobe pockets. The seven dentures in the nightstand. Two on her. Total count: Eleven dentures, nestled like contraband souvenirs. None labeled. Shirley’s I knew on sight; the rest were a lost-and-found of other people’s smiles.
The nurse and I did a unit-wide search. Nineteen missing teeth, she said. They had not known it was Shirley conducting the collection. Of course they hadn’t. Shirley does not announce a hobby. She simply acquires it.
I set the recovered sets into eleven cups of water and left them in the community shower like a very strange still life titled The Return of the Smile.
When I turned to leave, Shirley issued her closing argument.
“Take me with you or I’m going to make a scene.”
“If you make a scene,” I said, “your mother will be coming.”
She sat down at once. Perfectly. As if the threat of Mama were the one lock on the unit that still worked.
Stay tuned for more adventures, more love and more patience.
The story, like the dentures, has more layers than anyone budgeted for.
I drove home, praying they all get their teeth back. I prayed for Shirley and everyone fighting Alzheimer’s and dementia.
Thank you,
@ed_goblin for your gift donation for her pizza. 🍕
@KickRocks2026