I did Retail banking for four years and I can comfortably tell you that it is one of the toughest units in the bank. Many people think the job is simply about opening personal accounts. It isn't. You open an account, then you have to make sure it is funded. After that, you need to enroll the customer on the bank's digital channels and ensure they collect and activate their ATM card. If those things don't happen, the account generates little or no value for the bank. Now imagine going to a random motor park for an account opening campaign. The first challenge is convincing people to share their BVN and NIN. Those are probably the hardest pieces of information to get from an average Nigerian. To make things even harder, many of them already have accounts with other banks and see no reason to open another one. After you finally convince someone to open an account, the next battle begins, getting them to fund it. In many cases, Relationship Managers end up funding some of these accounts themselves just to get them active. Then comes ATM card collection. You'll be calling, sending text messages, and following up repeatedly just to get customers to come to the branch and pick up their cards. Retail banking is definitely not for the faint-hearted.

Will you blame the banger boys that cyber bully these elites and assassinate their character? You can blame them still, but our elites are wicked.

One of the worst places to sell your fairly used phone or laptop is Computer Village. They’ll devalue your gadget so badly below the worth.

The day the cost of the job is higher than the benefits, I quit.

Valid reason, done that before... zero regrets

The day there's nothing else to learn on this job, is the day I will quit.

Whenever a customer says, “I’ll think about it,” don’t immediately assume it means “no” or that they are not interested. Your job is to find out what is really stopping them from making the decision. “I’ll think about it” could mean: I don’t trust you yet. It’s too expensive. I need approval. I don’t see the value. I’m not convinced. This is where you have a job to do. Find out the real reason behind the hesitation. Don’t pressure them. Don’t accept an imaginary no. Uncover the real objection, address it, then follow up with a clear reason for them to make the decision.

If you know only one contact person in a company, the entire relationship can collapse without you knowing what went wrong. If that person leaves, the relationship can disappear with them. Build relationships across the business, not with just one contact. That way, the relationship does not depend on one person, and it becomes much harder for you to lose it. Know the decision-makers. Understand the business. Know who handles finance, operations and other key functions. It may seem like a lot of work, but this is how you expand your network within the business and become the contact person they think of when they need financial solutions.

Congratulations Ubon, please give them just two years and don't leave after six months.

One of the worst kinds of pain is losing your wife during childbirth while the baby survives. If both lives cannot be saved, let the mother live. The baby can go. I have had two friends go through this, and I can tell, it is a pain I would not wish on anyone.

Obafemi Hamzat may go on to become one of the worst governors Lagos has ever had. I hope I am wrong. His recent comments on some of Lagos' biggest problems are concerning. I have been following him closely, but I haven't heard him say a single thing about what he would do to make life better for Lagosians. Lagos is dirty, and there is uncleared waste everywhere. He was asked about this, and the only explanation he gave was that "the reason is because Lagos is heavily populated." Okay. But what is the solution? Rent is now extremely unaffordable for many people in Lagos. His advice was that "young people should stay with their parents, squat with people they can afford to live with, or adjust to their financial capacity." Again, what is the government doing to make housing more affordable? Recently, he was also asked about the increasing traffic in the city, as Lagosians spend hours every day commuting. Hamzat responded by saying that "traffic is part of Lagos' identity and is caused by our lifestyle." But again, what is the government doing to make movement around Lagos easier? This is my concern. The few times he has had an opportunity to make a positive impression, he has failed to do so. The only thing that seems to give Mr Hamzat confidence is that he is almost certain he will become Governor. So far, he hasn't shown any clear signs that he would do things differently, or better, than Governor Sanwo-Olu.

It was when I got married that I appreciated my father even more. When you are single, you may hear married people speak from experience and not fully understand them. Sometimes, you even disagree because you have not experienced that part of life yourself. You can always say, “My own will be different.” But honestly, there is wisdom in listening to the experience of people close to you and learn from it. Do not let youthful exuberance make you dismiss realities you have not yet experienced yourself.

When you visit your friend, you guys will be gisting and you casually mention your daily routine that: “Once you return from work, you are always at home. You hardly go out.” Your friend's wife will immediately say: “Yes, that’s how it should be.” Then she will look at her husband with that silent eye contact that says: “Hope you’re hearing what your friend is saying?” Especially if the husband is the one that likes to go out.

There was a time when a food vendor in Omoku, Rivers State was arrested for cooking beans with poo. He confessed to the act when caught and said he was doing it for spiritual assignment. Because of this, I rarely eat beans not home made.

I went to the Ajeromi-Ifelodun area of Lagos today. Almost all the newly installed political posters belonging to opposition parties especially that of NDC had been defaced. The APC posters I saw were untouched. It's just so funny.

One of my colleagues is a Muslim. A very tolerant one. Every Friday, his PC is playing Chioma Jesus and GUC songs. He’s Yoruba, but sings along in Igbo like he understands every lyrics. I like his personality. Because of him, I can say Inshallah when I want to make a declaration.

Thank you. This is actually the main reason I made the post. A lot of bankers are only interested in what is happening within their own department. They don't take the time to understand the wider business. Even the marketers you see everyday, their interest stops at account acquisition, loans and deposit. Nobody is stretching their mind to know the business. Working in a bank is a rare opportunity to see how money moves, how different businesses are financed, how the economy works and how institutions make money at scale. A salesperson for example should be able to leave the bank with more than just years of experience and a target history. They should understand the business itself beyond chasing target. That knowledge can become very useful, especially if you eventually decide to build something of your own.

A lot of Nigerian fintechs like to tell the story of digital lending as if they invented it. They didn't. Before many of the fintech companies you know today had built anything meaningful, Sterling Bank had already put Specta in the market. You could apply for a business loan digitally and get approval and disbursement within minutes. And we were talking about millions of naira, not ₦500k quick credit. Businesses were using Specta for working capital and asset finance. Specta was one of the products that showed the Nigerian market what digital lending could look like at scale. A lot of fintechs later built digital lending platforms around similar ideas. Yet, even today, only a relatively small number have built genuinely sophisticated credit systems for SMEs.

If you work in a bank, make it a priority to know how the bank actually makes money. If you want to be an entrepreneur and build your system around your work experience you should understand these things. Learn how deposits, loans, fees and commissions, FX, cards, digital channels, trade finance and collections contribute to the bank's income. If your role is around deposits and lending, don't stop at just meeting your targets. Understand the different business segments. Learn who the customers are, what they need, how the bank serves them and where the revenue comes from. Once you understand the economics of the institution, you will stop behaving like someone simply trying to meet a monthly target. You'll appreciate the privilege you have working in a financial institution.

Men and women are not the same. A man can be shamed for not providing for his family. You can shame a man by saying, “I pay the rent, I feed you, and I pay the children’s school fees.” But you cannot shame a man for cheating in the same way you would shame a woman for cheating. Even when the woman is "the provider". In situations where the man is the provider and cheats, the woman can't shame him and would most probably not leave him for cheating. This doesn't justify cheating but that's the reality.

Nigerians we can see 200 people queuing outside a food vendor's shop and start asking what the vendor is doing spiritually. But put the same 200 people in front of a fancy restaurant and suddenly it is "great branding and customer loyalty." I have friends who won't eat Amoke Oge's food because of the crowd around her outlet. They see people constantly gathering to order and pick up food, and they think something about it is not normal. Some even attach spiritual explanations to the success. Now imagine Amoke Oge had a huge, beautifully designed outlet in a highbrow area, expensive-looking packaging, uniformed staff and a very polished corporate identity. Would the same people still be asking questions? Probably not. This is where branding gets interesting. People don't only judge what you sell. They judge how your business looks, where it is located, how you package it and who they think is behind it. Look at "Item 7 go". People queue there too. The business experiences serious patronage, but you rarely hear people explaining that success with spiritual theories. Why? The brand already gives people an explanation. A polished business looks like a successful business. An informal-looking business with the same level of success can make people suspicious. Sometimes, branding is not just about attracting customers. It also determines the story people tell themselves about your success.