Life is hell, gonna start shitposting on twitter
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How come we're not making green and purple ketchups any more?
Has the whimsy died? Has civilization lost its nerve?
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Me: Used the word 'horse' in a comment on Twitter yesterday
Duolingo: This guy is gonna want an ad for horse medicine
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What they don't tell you is that when it came time to pitch the next movie, James Cameron just wrote "Aliens" on the board and then added another 's' to the end.
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"Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I'm actually pretty tired now from getting down here and am probably gonna take a nap"
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Sometimes when I listen to Boulevard of Broken Dreams I like to pretend that it's Fozzie Bear affirming his commitment to Wocka.
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I appreciate the Subaru commercial clarifying that the car sized golden Labrador lying on the hood does not "accurately depict the weight-bearing capacity" of the SUV
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I think Progressive needs to kill off Flo. Maybe in a car wreck so there's a tie in insurance-wise
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Kids these days will never understand just how often we'd be waving our phones around trying to find signal.
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Choking on your food when it goes down the wrong pipe is low-key so embarrassing. Like what, forget how to eat, did ya, ya dumbass?
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