Thanks to everyone who watched the premiere of my new special BRAVE! What an awesome night. You can now watch the special ANYTIME at the link in the comments. Please like, comment, and share with friends. Thank you so much!!! #standupcomedy #jokes #haha

this is my joke that you stole without giving me credit.

I have such mixed feelings about the comedians who endorsed Donald Trump. On one hand they used their influence to help elect a psychopath who has unleashed unimaginable suffering on to the world, but on the other hand they're terrible at comedy. It' complicated.

Fun fact: You can now murder anyone as long as you yell "Stop the steal" while you're doing it.

Remember the good old days when the big online argument was 'Is that dress blue or gray?', not 'Is that oligarch a Nazi or a troll?'

Honestly, Elon being like 'um actually...that was the Roman salute' is more annoying. And that's coming from a Jew.

Everyone has a friend who says shit like "Dad called earlier today" Like how did you miss that stage of childhood development where you realize not everyone has your father? If you close your eyes do you also think I disappeared?