Norm Macdonald & the speeding ticket 🎟️
A fella gets pulled over on a dark country highway.
A state trooper walks up to the driver's side.
Taps on the glass with a heavy flashlight.
The fella rolls the window down.
The trooper says,
“License and registration.”
The fella hands them over.
The trooper shines the light on the paperwork.
Then shines it right in the fella’s eyes.
The trooper says,
“Sir, do you know why I pulled you over tonight?”
The fella says,
“Because I was speeding?”
The trooper says,
“You were doing ninety-five
in a fifty-five zone.”
The fella says,
“Well, officer,
to be completely honest with you,
I was just trying to keep up with traffic.”
The trooper looks back down the empty road.
Both directions.
Not another headlight for ten miles.
Just crickets and black asphalt.
The trooper looks back at the fella and says,
“Sir, there is no traffic.”
The fella leans his head against the headrest
Takes a long drag of air,
and says,
“That’s what I’m trying to tell you, officer.
I’m terribly behind.”