A girl and her never-ending thoughts IG: Rencethinksalways
Nigeria
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And eventually you let things go, not because you didn’t love the person or you didn’t want the relationship but because you stopped loving somewhere in the process and just started managing. The happy sensation you feel when you see their message it’s no longer there, you’re no longer excited to see them and you’re just there.
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You start keeping things to yourself so that you won’t be “too much”, you don’t talk about things that hurt you anymore because you want to preserve the relationship, you agree with everything so that your person is still yours.
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And eventually you let things go, not because you didn’t love the person or you didn’t want the relationship but because you stopped loving somewhere in the process and just started managing. The happy sensation you feel when you see their message it’s no longer there, you’re no longer excited to see them and you’re just there.
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You begin to feel like you can’t survive without them and life is just better with them after all two heads are better than one. And this head that is attached to your own head is a little more special than any other.
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You have your own person, someone you can share joy, pain, secrets, and even gossip with. Someone to do life with or till the wheels fall off and then the thought shifts from I want to us to be defined to are we going to last forever? Will it lead to marriage? Will we last up to a year?
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And eventually you sit yourself down and tell yourself the truth, that’s it’s more than you liking this person, you want to be fully involved with this person. You want a title, you want a definition to it and you’re sure that you don’t just like this person, you love them.
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Friends you lost along the way: The friendship you would have easily sworn would last forever, the hurt you couldn’t forgive, the friends that slowly burned off, the friendship torn apart because of situations, the friendship that couldn’t survive the test of time.
The friendship that ended in the most painful way- the butterfly graveyard.
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Beautiful memories that are no longer alive: Beautiful memories that have now become fragments because you no longer remember them. Memories that bring you joy but hurt at the same time and you had to block it off. Now no matter how hard you try, you only remember fragments.
Memories you’ll give everything to witness again, your mum still alive, your family happy and together again, you still at the job you love so much, you at the stage you visited and had so much fun- the butterfly graveyard.
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Unspoken hurt: The hurt you didn’t express because you didn’t want to be too much, the displeasure you felt but didn’t talk about because you didn’t want to be the only one always talking.
The pain you experienced but bottled up just for peace to reign. Somehow you’ll forget the pain later but whenever you remember, that feeling of hurt comes back- the butterfly graveyard.
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