last proud mama post on here (ever??): kindergartener's teacher says in conference she's "by far the most advanced in the class academically" and already met all her end-of-year targets in Q1
go tell all your friends: daughters of single moms are bringing down the house
When I was a kid learning to ride horses my dad used to get so mad bc whenever the horse got a little testy I would simply throw myself out of the saddle and let the horse run away. This is still my attachment style
(Please do not make the lewd analogies between lovers and horses that I have very naively made glaringly available to you all with this dumb story thank u)
my mother sure loves to watch prurient true crime series on Netflix and then lose her goddamn mind every time I tell her I had a date with a man from the internet
In other weekend antics: a balding man who turned out to be a little hard of hearing asked to buy me a drink in a grocery store wine bar and after half an hour of (loud) conversation said I seemed to be holding it together pretty well for a girl who doesn’t talk to her father
Anyway I would have hidden most of the Halloween candy this week like any self-respecting social-mobility-aspiring mother but Callardgate has prompted me to leave it out in the candy dish this year like my grandma would have done, never say Twitter is not real life
Every time my kid goes away I spend the whole time cycling starry eyed around the city like “oh my god I am so in love with Chicago” and being deathly hungover
The one and only @Viquibarone is on the market and any department would be so lucky to have her! Check out her superb jmp on the design of sick leave 🔥🔥🔥