I have a group chat with four friends called โbrunch squad ๐ฅโ that has not once, in three years, resulted in brunch.
It has, however, resulted in:
- A 45-minute debate about whether a hot dog is a sandwich
- Live-updated someoneโs cousinโs wedding drama like it was a TV show
- Seventeen โwhoโs free this weekendโ polls, none of which led to a plan
- One (1) actual brunch, which two people canceled on, so it became โcoffee,โ then โmaybe next week,โ then silence
Meanwhile, I check that chat more often than I check my bank account. To be fair, both make me nervous, just for very different reasons.
Yesterday someone sent โwe NEED to hang out soon,โ and I felt a wave of love and community wash over me, immediately followed by the quiet certainty that we will not, in fact, hang out soon. We will send that message again in six weeks. It is basically our groupโs national anthem.
The real plot twist? I recently discovered one member left the chat, rejoined under a slightly different name, and nobody said anything for eleven days. We justโฆ accepted the new guy. Turns out thatโs also basically how adulthood works: someone new shows up in your life, you donโt ask too many questions, and eventually youโre planning a fake brunch with them too.
Anyway. Brunch squad, if youโre reading this: I love you, we are never getting brunch, and Iโve made peace with it.