To those wayward souls, lost in the forgotten corners of social media, who have found themselves stranded on my new X profile: Welcome! 👋😊 I’m Shelly, and I’m a writer. Albeit not a very successful one. Truth is, I’m kind of a boring guy. Okay, so I’m a really boring guy, but I’m fine with that. I like model trains, coin collecting, stamps (the kind you put on envelopes, not backsides), and the occasional scary movie, as long as it’s not too scary. And comedy movies as well, so long as they're not too funny. And action movies, assuming they’re not too actiony. You get the picture… My wife thought it’d be a good idea to join X and meet some potential fans. Market myself, network, meet other writers, and show the world that I’m not as boring as I claim to be! She’s the supportive type, if you couldn’t tell. She’s amazing. And she’s also three months pregnant! 🤰 Oh yeah, and because I felt like struggling as a career, networking with all five of my fans, and preparing for a baby just wasn’t enough to have on my plate, we’re also in the middle of moving! More on that later though… One of these days, I hope to start posting more long-form content on Articles, but until then I’m just making friends and earning follows, one bot account at a time! 👍 So hopefully I’ll see you around. Drop me a like, a repost, or even just a rude comment I can show my wife as proof that I’m getting out there, and I promise I’ll do the same for you. Stay weird, everybody 🤙

Trick question. ALL movie titles are MADE BETTER by the phrase “In the Ass” 😂🤣😂

🤣😂🤣 Humor is making a comeback! 💪

The based version with alternate ending:

Hard to say no to a Final Destination movie but I’m gonna go with…

I’m listening 🤔

I have no idea what you mean…this steak is real 🥲

“You merely adopted the darkness, I was born in it” 💀

Love the classics, but this one goes to my boy Sam 🎃 When I first saw this movie, the atypical, multi-story structure made me feel like It was a Halloween candy-flavored Pulp Fiction and every character’s story weaves into the others so perfectly ❤️

Well if that’s the case then… Psy-op me harder, CIA 😋

Well they’re not Crocs so I feel like that’s an automatic W, right there 🤷

German girls just being out der werwolf in me 😁

Me seeing anything in 2006 referred to as Retro: 😭😭

Unfortunate but necessary 😔 Bro code of Honor demands it 🫡

Like my wife always tell me, “It’s okay. Tiny meat is cute” ❤️

Is it, though?

Justice for my boy, Eren 😭 🙌

I wasn’t a huge fan of the movie itself, but yeah, Jackie was awesome as Freddy!! Still no Robert England but he did his own thing and it was surprisingly good. Nobody can do Robert England except Robert England ❤️

Well, now we’re just writing the script for my new favorite porn parody. 😑

I’m sorry…did you say, “couple” ?!? 🫪

This is why I just put my nudies all over Pornhub, so this kind of thing can’t happen to me 👍