Big day at Basingstoke Magistrates' Court. The absolute pinnacle of alpha nationalism, Danny Tommo, just entered his plea via video link. A man who braved the high seas to menace a dinghy was just reduced to tears while dabbing his eyes with a single piece of 2-ply toilet tissue.

preparing for a full-scale civil uprising over a remanded bricklayer, and the next they are being asked to leave a 5-star Google review for an independent menswear boutique in Philadelphia that offers free shipping to Luton. So as the sun sets on Basingstoke, Danny Tommo is

The elite tactical division of Patriot Platform has just successfully deployed to Basingstoke police station. By "deployed," I mean 200 blokes in identical, budget-rate black balaclavas just stepped off the 17:42 from Waterloo, looking like a heavily synthesised team of

petrol station to buy a four-pack of Monster Energy and a Rustlers burger. The revolution runs on processed poultry. As the night draws in, the final siege of Basingstoke Investigation Centre concludes not with a bang, but with a whimper. Several parents have started pulling up