📥 | Submission: My regional manager was a massive bully who spent months trying to get me fired because I didn't want to hang out with him outside of work hours. Last month, he accidentally left his work laptop unlocked on his desk while he went to a two-hour lunch. I didn't steal any files. Instead, I created a highly professional, fake email address named "internal-audit-compliance" and sent an email to his personal work account. The email stated that his department was under investigation for financial discrepancies and that he needed to report to head office on Monday morning for an emergency review. He panicked so badly that he spent the entire weekend confessing all his actual, real corporate policy violations to HR via email in an attempt to "cooperate early." HR had absolutely no idea what he was talking about, but his confessions were so bad that they fired him on Tuesday morning. He still thinks the corporate office caught him, but it was literally just me and a fake email address.

📥 | Submission: My regional manager was a massive bully who spent months trying to get me fired because I didn't want to hang out with him outside of work hours. Last month, he accidentally left his work laptop unlocked on his desk while he went to a two-hour lunch. I didn't steal any files. Instead, I created a highly professional, fake email address named "internal-audit-compliance" and sent an email to his personal work account. The email stated that his department was under investigation for financial discrepancies and that he needed to report to head office on Monday morning for an emergency review. He panicked so badly that he spent the entire weekend confessing all his actual, real corporate policy violations to HR via email in an attempt to "cooperate early." HR had absolutely no idea what he was talking about, but his confessions were so bad that they fired him on Tuesday morning. He still thinks the corporate office caught him, but it was literally just me and a fake email address.

📥 | Submission: I caught my girlfriend cheating on me so I vandalized my own truck to make it look like her side dude did it. I showed her parents the evidence of her cheating and they actually paid for my deductible and let me move into their house because they were pretty mad at their daughter. Now I get to eat dinner with her parents every night and they want nothing to do with her and she is super mad at me. To top it off, I have a date with her sister who still lives here at her parents' house this weekend and I hope everything goes well. Her parents really like me and were hoping we would get married. Looks like I have another chance at being their son-in-law.

My ex-girlfriend changed the password to my own Netflix account after we broke up because her profile was the "primary master account." She texted me: "Sucks to be you, find your own entertainment." I didn't argue. I didn't text back. I just called my bank, reported my card as stolen, and got a brand-new one issued. Her entire smart TV, iPad, and phone instantly logged her out mid-movie because the payment failed. She called me crying because she lost her 5-year watch history and her algorithms. I told her: "Sucks to be you, find your own password," and hung up.

It’s funny how every generation thinks the next one is doomed, as if humans were ever stable to begin with.

Things can shift in ways you don’t expect when you least feel in control.

Being too low-maintenance will have you starving at a table full of food just because you didn't want to ask for a fork.

When you eat super spicy food and your ears suddenly open up and you start hearing clearer, your nose feels completely cleared out, and your mouth is just hot and throbbing😭🥵

5 things a man never forgets about a woman, even if he moves on: 🧵

Being right feeds the ego, peace feeds your life.

We are all 'average' at most things. Once you accept that you aren't a special snowflake, you can actually start working on becoming someone worth noticing.