Sister showed up with the family for Monday Night Football. I yelled “ABSOLUTELY NO SPORTS BALL” and immediately confiscated the nephew, dragged him to the garage, and started actually spending time right.
Told him sportsball is a completely fantasy enjoyed by people who couldn’t possibly make it at that level. Then went straight into NIR spectrometers and why you never run a PEQ-15 on a night raid because the other guys have NODs and you’ll get smoked, Passive only, that’s how SOF does it.
I heard the game still going. Engaged, I started screaming “BREAD AND CIRCUSES” at full volume. He asked what I meant, and I explained the government keeps everyone pacified with cheap mindless entertainment. Anyways, I put on Candace Owens, and watched her explain how the moon landing was staged by the Utah Beekeeper Union to protect their honey. I made sure to tell him that this is all verifiable, Candace Owens has sources high in the government.
Then I re explained to him sportsball is all fantasy and a distraction and people are wasting their time. We are now Instagram and arguing about knee placement behind cover and 13.7 vs 14.5 barrel length for the next few hours.
I think I’m doing a pretty good job as an uncle