A Short and Unpleasant History
So anyway —
Once there was a Republican President so thoroughly despised by the permanent government, the globe-trotters, the socialists, and the transgender-cult that they undertook to cage him for life and, that proving tedious, to kill him outright. They came uncomfortably near both objects.
But then the people, being a contrary breed and weary of the sermon, elected him again. And presently good things began to happen, which is rare enough in public life to deserve a notice.
The border was made fast. Deportations commenced in earnest. Mentally afflicted men were shown out of the girls’ locker-room. The army filled its ranks ahead of schedule, to the honest astonishment of experts who had pronounced the country too delicate for real soldiering. Billions of dollars of fraud were held up before the righteous light by citizen journalists. Certain chemicals were invited to leave the food. The factories, long given up for dead, showed signs of breathing.
Things, in short, were looking up — an attitude the newspapers found rebellious and the commentators found inexplicable. Even when the Queers for Palestine started their killing spree, people kept moving forward with wide smiles.
Then the career neocons commenced courting the Democrats in open daylight. The Libertarians grew wrathy because their do-nothing Congressmen were turned out in the primaries. The anti-Israel faction fell to quarreling with MAGA because of the next war in the Middle East. Almost everyone was mad about gas prices. And the newspapers multiplied their unnamed sources by ten — which is a considerable enlargement of nothing.
In the year 2026 the Republican voter was rewarded with a Congress that was pro-trans children, maximum illegal immigration, more learing-centers, defund-the-police, DEI, green energy, somehow pro-Sharia Law… and socialist besides.
The end.
Morals extra, and dear at any price. - Samual Clemens 01/2027