I genuinely donβt know what to say or how I feel about this. Itβs honestly a mix of emotions.
First of all, an apology is better late than never. But with that being said, I have more questions again.
Why now? And especially, why the repeated βSinder if you see thisβ when you have means of contacting her directly?
Considering how the whole situation started I highly question why your first thought was to make a public statement again over reaching out to her personally and properly apologising to her first.
What happened wasnβt a simple βhehe upsi, my badβ mistake. You DESTROYED her career, for no damn reason. She lost a big majority of her friends, viewers, opportunities and a big part of the community she had built. She quit streaming and was isolated for months, while she helped you build your brand foundation, opened you to many possibilities, and did nothing but support you.
The damage didn't stop with just the original document, because other people took what was said and ran with it, going as far as making a video publicly labelling her as a psychopath, which gained traction outside the vtubing sphere and added another massive layer to the damage, and much more.
Iβm not saying this out or blue, I was one of the first people to stand up for her. So much of what was being said didnβt make sense to me and I chose to believe in her when people harshly judged me. It made me lose friendships over it too, so this is very personal to me.
I can see that youβre sorry. I can see that you feel guilty. But I think thereβs a difference between saying βIβm sorry for the hurt Iβve doneβ and actually addressing what you caused. It acknowledges the aftermath, but it doesnβt really correct the things that caused it.
Iβm always going to believe forgiveness is important. People can grow and do better, and Iβm not saying any of this to encourage hate or another pile-on.
But the way you ask for forgiveness matters too.
I genuinely hope this can eventually lead to some healing. I donβt want another public spectacle out of this, and I donβt think anyone benefits from one, but as someone who was there through all of this and watched the consequences firsthand, I canβt pretend this apology makes me feel like everything that happened has been properly addressed yet.
Ultimately, what Sinder chooses to do with this is entirely up to her and what I am saying does NOT represent her current houghts, or brand, in the slightest. My thoughts are my own and I want to make that VERY clear.
I know this is a little out of the blue, but there's something I was meaning to say for quite some time but I didn't have the courage since this will bring things back. English isn't my 1st language but I just want to express how I feel with my own words. I want to make this public since It all started in public as well.
Sinder if you ever get this message, I'm so sorry for all I caused to you, to your image, to your mental, friends I caused you to lose, opportunities I destroyed and everything else that I can't even imagine I could have caused you.
I know what I caused to you is irreversible and there's no way things will be the same as it was before. I know you really cared about me and yet I doubted you, hurt you, accused you of things I didn't understand and didn't talk to you properly all because i was immature and stupid. I still think til this day, why I did that and yet I don't know how to answer that myself.
I really wanted to tell you Sinder that I blame myself for all that happened, I should never have gone public, never defame you of stupid things i thought i knew, hurt you, not properly communicating with you like a decent human. I try to leave this memory behind but the guilty just lives there deep in my heart and I really wanted to tell you I'm so sorry.