jacking off with a pussy is so weird sometimes i finish in under two minutes and other times i must hold my vibrator at a 63 degree angle and the wind must be blowing from the northeast and it has to be the second tuesday of the month but only when mercury is in retrograde
me to my husband: AO3 is down again [explains outage]
My husband: someone should write a spicy fanfic about the two database engineers locked in the server room trying to fix it
my husband, smug: there was only one spreadsheet