Cracked and Leanin' - Parody

Washington, DC
Flipside of the atmosphere; ocean acidity has increased 30% since the Industrial Revolution. "Ocean Acidification" #climate #carboncycle.
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"The pre-industrial concentration of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere was 280 parts per million (ppm). As of December 2016, 404.93 ppm."
Today, the amount of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere is higher than at any time in the last 650,000 years. #climate
Twitter seems to thinks I should follow Eminem. Doesn't it know I'm straight up east coast?! #earthquake #dcquake Washington Monument
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From up here you people really do look like ants. Smug little two legged ants. #earthquake #dcquake Washington Monument
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Woah, Bob Barker AND Oprah are gone? #ThingsILearnedOnMandatoryBreak #earthquake #dcquake Washington Monument
It is the 24 hour anniversary... Never Forget (via reddit) i.imgur.com/7kDXs.jpg #earthquake #dcquake
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I would say my reaction was somewhere between Iris the Oragutan and the Prezwalski’s horses. nationalzoo.si.edu/SCBI/Anim… #earthquake #dcquake
I think the earthquake messed up some phone lines because I keep getting calls for some guy named Phil McRakin #dcquake Washington Monument
Waiting for my exam to start. They're taking their sweet ti... Moooon Riiiver! #earthquake #dcquake Washington Monument
Sounds like I'm getting some time off. Time to get through all those Steve Wilkos Shows on my DVR. #earthquake #dcquake Washington Monument
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Don't worry ladies, I might be cracked but I'm still 555 feet of rock hard love. #earthquake #dcquake Washington Monument Crack
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Where is that anti-aging facial groupon when you need it? #earthquake #dcquake
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Enough about me, I want to know which way Brett Favre is leaning. #earthquake #dcquake Washington Monument
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I'm a little worried 'cause you know, crack kills. I always thought that just applied to plumbers though. #earthquake Washington Monument
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Come on baby, don't take all this "closed indefinitely" talk so seriously. Let's just call it "taking a break" from each other. #earthquake
I'm available for interviews. One rule: no close ups. RT @todayshow @nbcwashington Cracks Discovered in Washington Monument #earthquake
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Looks like they found cracks in me. That's cracks, with an "s"... I'm looking at you Charlie Sheen. #dcquake Washington Monument
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