My friend makes $78,000 a year, works nearly 50 hours a week, and says he can’t afford to have children.
Last Sunday, his mother called him selfish in front of the entire family because he still hadn’t given her a grandchild.
I actually agreed with her.
Then he showed me his bank account, and I realized how badly I’d misunderstood the man.
My friend Mitch is 34 and works as a warehouse operations supervisor in Columbus, Ohio. He’s been working since he was 17, paid his own way through college, and has never been the type to waste money.
No expensive vacations. No designer clothes. No fancy car. He drives a used Toyota Corolla and packs his lunch almost every day.
But whenever someone asks him about marriage and children, he gives the same answer.
“I don’t think kids are for me.”
I’d heard him say it so many times that I genuinely believed he hated the idea of being a father.
Until his mother’s birthday cookout.
We were sitting outside when his older sister mentioned that another cousin was expecting his third child.
His mother turned to Mitch and said, “See? Your younger cousin is already on number three, and you’re still acting like having one child will kill you.”
Everyone laughed.
Mitch smiled and looked down at his plate.
His mother wasn’t finished.
“Your father and I had you when we barely had two dollars to rub together. We didn’t wait until everything was perfect. We figured it out.”
Mitch quietly said, “I know, Mom.”
Then his uncle jumped in.
“People these days are just selfish. Everybody wants money, freedom, and comfort. Nobody wants responsibility anymore.”
I won’t lie. I thought his uncle had a point.
After all, $78,000 sounded like pretty good money to me.
Later that evening, when everyone had gone home, Mitch asked whether I wanted to come over for a beer.
I told him I was surprised he hadn’t defended himself.
He laughed.
“Defend myself against what?”
“Your family. They think you’re selfish because you don’t want children.”
He was quiet for a moment.
Then he said something I wasn’t expecting.
“Who told you I don’t want children?”
I stared at him.
“Dude, you’ve been saying that for years.”
He nodded.
“Yeah. That’s easier than telling people the truth.”
Then he opened his laptop.