Protip: Someone else getting success or attention does not diminish your own success or attention.

I mentioned that my garage door was making a sound. An American immediately said, "I got a guy." He did not ask what the sound was. He did not ask what kind of door. He produced a guy on the basis of the word garage. I asked who the guy was. He said, "Just a guy." He did not have a company name. He had a first name and a phone number in his phone saved as "Mike Garage." That is the contact name. Mike Garage. As though Garage is his surname. As though there is a family. I asked how he found this guy. "My brother-in-law used him." I asked if the brother-in-law was satisfied. He thought about it. Then he said, "He's still standing." The house is still standing. That is the entire review. Inside I said: THEY DO NOT KEEP RECORDS. THEY KEEP LOYALTIES. I called Mike Garage. He answered from inside a vehicle. There was wind. He said he could come Tuesday between eleven and four. Between eleven and four. A window of five hours. In my country this would be a scandal. Here it is generous. He gave me a window at all. Some guys do not give you a window. Some guys say "Tuesday" and that is the whole appointment. He came at 1:40. He fixed it in twenty minutes. He charged me less than I expected and he did not take a card, only cash or an app I had never heard of. Before leaving he looked at my water heater, which I had not mentioned, and said, "That's gonna go." I asked when. "Couple years." I asked what I should do. He said, "I'll give you a guy." He gave me a guy. Mike Garage has a guy. The guy has a guy. There is a network beneath this country made entirely of men named after their function, and none of them advertise, and all of them are busy. Inside I said: THERE IS A SECOND NATION HERE. IT HAS NO SIGNS. IT IS ENTERED ONLY BY INTRODUCTION. I have been given four guys since. I have a guy for trees. I did not know I needed a guy for trees. I have trees now, apparently. They are my responsibility. A man named Rick told me so and then left.

You were an argumentative, cantankerous, hardheaded, contrarian son of a bitch... And I'm going to miss you. Rest in peace, friend.