Listen,
Before you commit to marrying a woman,
Scrutinize her family.
Know her culture, beliefs and traditions.
Don't marry a woman whose family's beliefs and traditions conflict with yours.
Marry a woman whose cultural beliefs are in agreement with your beliefs.
She and her family must agree to let her become subservient to your family and even religion.
If she is SDA, and you are Catholic, she must abandon SDA and become a Catholic.
She has no excuse for insisting on being SDA. If she is not ready, end the commitment immediately.
Know her parents.
You might be marrying a woman whose father is a night-runner and whose mother is a witch.
Her parents must first respect your parents.
You are doing them a favour by marrying their daughter. Otherwise, she would be a burden to them, fighting her mother, competing with her brothers, and leaving behind a chain of fatherless babies.
If her parents despise your parents because they think your parents are poor, or because they are of a community they loathe, then don't commit.
You must get this right.
Don't just meet a woman in the streets or in college, start an affair, and then impregnate her, and then marry.
This is starting on the wrong footing.
Understand her origin.
• Where does she come from?
• Who is her father?
• What is her family history
• Where are her elder sisters? Are they married?
Otherwise, you will discover serious wounds that were hidden from you, and it will be too late to undo the damage.
Don't marry these rudderless, uncouth, alcoholic women of the city.
They will become an unnecessary burden in your life.
In the end, you and the children will suffer.
But most of you think that because you went to Harvard, have a PhD, and drive a Porsche, you are so clever.
Families that disavow their cultural source will eventually collapse.