whale fact for you. Black Lives Matter. 🇵🇸 | merch:awhalefact.com
a ocean
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everything i’ve written about the cornell rapists seems inadequate, so let me just say this as a man instead of a whale: no, i don’t think we should “ruin” these rapists’ lives “just because they raped someone”.
i think we should end them.
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ed sheeran can’t go on tour at all if he gets eaten by a whale. and don’t even worry about the whale’s diet, as they’re used to eating invertebrates
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many people think whales would be bad at football given they have no concept of the sport nor the ability to move freely on land, but so far this season, whales have scored the exact same amount of goals as the entire tottenham hotspurs starting eleven
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the whales do not give a fuck what you looked like in the 80’s and would rather you not destroy our planet so we have a chance to see what we might look like in the 30’s
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dolly parton, the whales sing for you tonight, rest in peace and know your light reached even the darkest expanses of this world
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whales never use generative AI, but they do make poop from a butt, which is similar except that whale poop is essential to the health of our oceans and generative AI is essential to being a fucking loser
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a whale would never give you explosive diarrhea doodoo disease, probably because there is no scenario in which a whale would gut the CDC and other programs directly responsible for mitigating the risk of explosive diarrhea doodoo disease
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the biggest difference between whales and lindsey graham is that the whales have never actively worked against the betterment of their own constituents and also many whales are currently alive
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the whales are not responsible for anything that may or may not have happened to mitch mcconnell, other than that which whales do for all humanity
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due to rising production costs and inflation, following playstation’s example, whales will no longer appear in physical form. while these new digital whales offer none of the advantages of an actual physical breathing whale, we have found that we don’t care, because profit is up
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“i asked chatgpt” well i asked a whale and she said “OOooOooOOOOoo
oOooo” and then sank a yacht
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regardless of gender, if you need one today, any whale is large enough to be your big whale daddy. happy father’s day to all dads, whales, and whale daddies
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my whales are enormous
my global is warming
every day it gets harder to survive
knicks in five
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apologies in advance if the whales do not show up to your social events this month, they’re just very busy being extra gay rn
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