BRO PLEASE, LISTEN TO ME, I’M SHAKING RIGHT NOW, BITCOIN IS BETTER — JUST TRUST ME, BRO, PLEASE
Bro… no… STOP.
STOP LOOKING AT MONERO.
BRO. PLEASE.
OKAY YES, YES, it outperforms Bitcoin while it’s BANNED, DELISTED, CALLED A "SCAM COIN", while PRESIDENTS are literally putting LASER EYES on their profiles shilling BITCOIN like it’s the second coming… AND MONERO JUST KEEPS GOING UP ANYWAY, I KNOW, I SEE IT TOO, BUT LISTEN—
BITCOIN WAS FIRST BRO.
FIRST-MOVER ADVANTAGE, bro, THE BRAND, THE NETWORK EFFECT,
THE LIQUIDITY, BRO, the INSTITUTIONS love it, bro.
MICHAEL SAYLOR CALLED US "CYBER HORNETS" BRO. CYBER. HORNETS.
ALL. IN. CAPS.
DO YOU EVEN UNDERSTAND WHAT THAT MEANS???
NEITHER DO I, BUT IT SOUNDS HARD, BRO.
Monero’s got like… sure, okay, real privacy, no taint, no blacklist,
ACTUAL FUNGIBILITY,
and yeah, it’s got that RandomX CPU mining thing so you can mine on your TOASTER while Bitcoin miners are out here BUILDING NUCLEAR POWER PLANTS just to stay alive…
BUT BITCOIN HAS ETF APPROVAL, BRO.
WALL STREET LOVES IT, BRO.
YOU CAN’T EVEN SAY MONERO ON COINBASE, BRO.
IT’S LIKE VOLDERMORT COIN OR SOME SHADOW BAN WITCHCRAFT, BRO.
OKAY, YES, YES, MONERO’S GOT TAIL EMISSION SO MINERS DON’T JUST DIE IN 2140, WHATEVER.
BITCOIN WILL FIX THAT LATER, BRO. TRUST THE PLAN.
AND YEAH OKAY, YOU WANNA BRING UP JSTARK AGAIN? FINE.
Tracked through BITCOIN’S PUBLIC CHAIN, arrested, dead… YEAH OKAY.
BUT AT LEAST HE DIDN’T DIE USING A SCAM COIN, BRO.
AT LEAST HE DIED A BITCOINER, RIGHT???
BRO… RIGHT??? PLEASE.
AND I KNOW, I KNOW, MONERO IS DOMINATING DARKNET MARKETS, ACTUALLY BEING USED, ACTUALLY WORKING WHILE BITCOINERS JUST SIT AROUND JERKING OFF TO LASER EYE MEMES,
AND BITCOIN KEEPS CLOGGING ITSELF WITH STUPID JPEG INSCRIPTIONS,
BUT BRO…
BITCOIN HAS THE MOST LIQUIDITY, BRO.
YOU CAN DUMP A BILLION DOLLARS OF BITCOIN AND THE PRICE BARELY MOVES, BRO.
TRY THAT WITH MONERO, YOU’LL SLIP SO HARD, BRO.
PLEASE JUST SAY IT WITH ME BEFORE I LOSE IT:
BITCOIN IS THE FUTURE
BITCOIN IS THE FUTURE
BITCOIN IS THE FUTURE
BRO PLEASE.
PLEASE.
PLEASE.