Bad at hydrangeas. Ibuprofen enthusiast. We write jokes here.
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I haven’t licked an envelope in over two decades without thinking of George Costanza.
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Ever since I was a little girl I knew I wanted strangers on the internet to find me mildly amusing.
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your other mom retweeted
If you ever feel like your faith in humanity is almost restored, for the love of god don’t have a garage sale.
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your other mom retweeted
sometimes I think I'm still young. And sometimes I pull a back muscle turning to reach for the toilet paper.
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your other mom retweeted
How can I block my coworkers on my work email from sending me work emails
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your other mom retweeted
Shit and this whole time Ive been removing the doors.
Keeping your fridge and freezer closed is the best way to keep food fresh for as long as possible. - @nbcselected nbcnews.com/select/shopping/…
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your other mom retweeted
Gather around children and I will tell you about a happy time not so long ago where things at the Dollar Store actually cost one dollar.
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Be careful. If you don’t have something pumpkin flavored on the first day of Fall, you die.
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your other mom retweeted
a look of dismay creeps over my face as I realize, after all this time: oh my god, you're a "jif"-sayer. and I had so much respect for you.
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