My girlfriend asked me to stop acting like her boyfriend in public
We had been dating for almost a year when she suddenly asked me to stop showing her affection whenever we were around her friends.
Natalie was the quiet type who took her job seriously, while I was the kind of guy who could turn an ordinary evening into a comedy show.
We usually spent our weekends together, watched movies, cooked meals, and talked about our future. I thought our relationship was going perfectly until one Saturday afternoon when I went to meet her at a shopping mall where she was hanging out with two of her friends. When she saw me, I walked over, took her shopping bag, and tried to hug her as usual.
She immediately stepped away.
Natalie: “Please don't do that here.”
Me: “Don't do what?”
Natalie: “All this touching and kissing in front of everybody. Can you stop it?”
I laughed because I thought she was joking.
Me: “Since when did you become a politician? Are you hiding our relationship from the public?”
Her friends laughed, but Natalie didn't.
Natalie: “I'm serious. I don't want you doing all that around my friends anymore.”
I looked at her, waiting for an explanation.
Me: “Are you embarrassed to have me as your boyfriend?”
Natalie: “Why do you always take everything personally?”
Me: “Because you're asking me to behave like we're strangers whenever your friends are around!”
She sighed and told me we would discuss it later.
That evening, I went to her apartment because I wanted to settle the matter. I had already convinced myself that one of her friends had said something negative about me.
When she sat beside me on the couch, I asked her directly.
Me: “Natalie, is there something about me you're ashamed of?”
She looked surprised.
Natalie: “What are you talking about?”
Me: “You don't want me holding your hand in public. You don't want me kissing you around your friends. What exactly do you want me to do? Wave at you like your neighbor?”
She laughed briefly before becoming serious again.
Natalie: “I love you, but sometimes you behave differently when my friends are around.”
Me: “How?”
Natalie: “You always want to prove that I'm your girlfriend.”
I wanted to argue, but I remembered a few occasions when I had done exactly that.
Still, I wasn't convinced.
Me: “So what do you want from me?”
She looked me in the eyes.
Natalie: “For the next month, I want us to stop acting like a couple whenever we're out with my friends. We can still date, spend time together, and do everything we normally do privately. But when I'm with my friends or doing my own thing, please let me be.”
I stared at her.
Me: “A whole month of pretending we're single?”
Natalie: “We're not pretending we're single. We're just giving each other some space.”
Me: “Natalie, are you sure you still have a boyfriend?”
She slapped my arm.
Natalie: “You're exactly why I need this!”
I agreed, although I wasn't happy about it.
I thought she would change her mind after a few days.
What I didn't know was that the real problem had very little to do with public affection.
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