evan buckley : love me anyway

• 26 / she/her / mdni •
you are my home by evanbuckpretty rated g ~ 15.4k words — #buddie fic — buckley-diaz family feels — s10 ep01 - that sinking feeling — buck needs a hug — buck’s fear of abandonment — angst + happy ending 🔗: archiveofourown.org/works/95…
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eddie’s pov is like “i know i have made my mistakes with chris and that’s why im telling you this so you don’t do mistakes like i did” while buck’s pov is like “but since you did some mistakes with chris you should be more understanding of my situation” both valid
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the way this scene encapsulates all of their individual insecurities so well. its criminal that ao3 is down when we got this gem of a scene. the shadows, the dialogues, the acting. everything is so well done
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you know im liking the way i wrote my previous fic now. pat on the back
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Eddie fundamentally does not believe he and Buck CAN overstep. Buck lives in fear of acknowledging that. Delicious.
“you are overstepping” THE HURT IN EDDIE’S EYES
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THEIR EYES OH MY GOD
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Buck is basically saying "I have ALWAYS been by your side, why are you not by mine?" it's fine im fine it's FINE
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the way both of them r trying so hard to hold back tears, i’m actually gonna throw up
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you might have to sit down for this one.
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this also reminds me of the s8 kitchen fight where someone said that eddie sees buck as a husband who keeps trying to divorce him without explaining why and buck sees eddie as a friend who keeps giving mixed signals bc buck is hyper vigilant about them being “just friends”
Buck saying he never critiqued Eddie's parenting "because I'm your Friend" is joining my list of reasons why I think Buck has a better grasp on platonic boundaries Eddie's thinking "we're in this together" while Buck's thinking "if he were my Friend, he'd be more supportive"
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back to writing cave
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oh my god he was so sick. he felt so sick. oh my god i can’t do this.
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"I've been with you through most of them." GOD.
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eddie walking into buck’s house with his slutty jeans and his hung walk, accidentally causing a fight and leaving without saying a word all in under 5 minutes… this man is the PEAK of gay dramatics
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the dichotomy between “there’s nobody in this world i trust with my son more than you” and “you are overstepping. you don’t like the way i’m handling things, eddie, you know where the door is” at the end of the s3 opener and the end of the s10 opener
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For anyone saying it’s “unrealistic” for Buck to tell Eddie to leave, pls think abt his canon abandonment issues. What he WANTS is to tell someone to leave and for them to go “no, I care about you so much that I’m staying, even if you don’t want me here.” THATS why he pushes +
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buck: i have to keep you mentally pushed into the "friend" box cus otherwise thatd open up a whole lot of feelings i cant deal with so why cant you just Act Like A Friend? eddie: we're in this together, we've always been, this is just how we are. why arent you letting me in?
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the way eddie got hurt when buck told him to leave and buck got hurt when eddie actually left MAN WHAT ARE WE DOINGGGGG
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the point is,,, they're not. or rather,, they are but they act like spouses and all their arguments arise from the fact that the moment one of them tries to force them back into the friend compartment the other feels the lack of that spouse role and actually wants it back
“because i’m your friend” my brother in christ you’re actually two gay ass codependent husbands but sure
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they both look so. defeated.
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