Fesshole🧻
@fesshole

Confess your sins anon - will the internet absolve you? ADD FESS b3ta.com/addfess LIVE SHOW TICKETS sites.google.com/view/fessho…

b3ta.com/addfess
Joined June 2018
660 Photos and videos
I buy jeans and jackets at the local hardware store instead of an actual clothes shop. Nobody has noticed anything different for the last 12 years.
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Had a row with my partner earlier, but then they admitted fault and apologised. Disappointed. I was hoping for a reason to break up.
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My perfect day is to leave my phone at home, take several packs of biscuits and a large flask of tea, and sit for hours on an outcropping watching trains go past. Can't be reached by the "loved" ones. Bliss.
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My oldest brother no longer makes any effort with my mum. She spent 60 years telling us all she loved us all equally. She confided in me last week that she's cut him out of her will. I'm so happy she's finally recognised his selfishness.
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While donating blood the first time I was unexpectedly offered club biscuits and I ate so many that I spasmed my lower jaw and my mouth got stuck open.
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My first fart of the day often sounds like the beginning of A Forest by the Cure
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Went travelling in Germany and wound up shagging a bartender for a few nights, he knew I was from the UK, but I gave him my cousins name rather than my own. She's spent the last month wondering why a random foreigner keeps messaging her on Facebook and wanting to visit her.
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I felt very old when I had to ask a 24-year-old what "Tommy K" was. Expected it was some brand of clothing. She looked at me like I was living under a rock and said "Tomato ketchup".
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In 1979 I stole a toffee crisp. To this day I cannot eat one.
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When I see a man wearing a polo shirt with a jacket on the tube, I always tell him how it makes him look like Andy Burnham. Most of them have the good grace to look offended.
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Train driver here, whilst driving trains through Birmingham New street all lines into the station go via tunnels, on approach to the entrance signals into the platforms I'm acting out the return of the Nebuchadnezzar to Zion from the Matrix reloaded..
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My brother's an economist and it's truly embarrassing to be in a group with him when he introduces himself as a scientist. There are aspects of science in economics but it's pretty weak stuff, almost homeopathic.
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Fesshole - Anonymous Confessions

Submitting a confession to Fesshole gives Fesshole permission to publish it. Duh. Also we DO NOT store your email - that asterisk saying 'required' is to stop people submitting blank confessions.

docs.google.com
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Son bought a blag football top on holiday with his own money. He knew it was fake but loved it and wears everywhere. I chucked it in the wash and it disintegrated. Got a real one with next day delivery before he found out. Now he has a £90 top that he thinks is a £15 fake.
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When I make myself a cup of tea at work, I always empty the kettle and fill it with ice cold water from the water cooler. Even if it's just been boiled. Boiling time is my time for a mini-break.
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My mother cut my hair growing up. I grew it out long as a teen and have only occasionally had a friend trim the ends for neatness ever since. I am now in my 40s and have no idea how going to a barbershop works.
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I'm a tall woman (181cm) and I've been this tall since I was 11 years old. At school they teased me and called me "Mommy Long Legs." When I was 13 I spent every weekend in the library studying anatomy and I designed a detailed surgical procedure to remove 8cm from my femur.
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As a 14 year old I sneaked into the school hall where the majorettes were practicing their baton twirling, waited for a bit when they all threw them in the air, then turned off all the lights and ran away. I can still hear the screams as batons rained down on their heads. Fesshole GOLD from 10th June 2021

ALT As a 14 year old I sneaked into the school hall where the majorettes were practicing their baton twirling, waited for a bit when they all threw them in the air, then turned off all the lights and ran away. I can still hear the screams as batons rained down on their heads. Fesshole GOLD from 10th June 2021

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"When and why did Sean Connery go to Wimbledon? Ten-nishh." was the joke a first date told me. Didn't laugh but was so thirsty that I went home with him anyway.
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The woman who makes my Subway sandwich looks at me the way that hotel receptionist, played by Sally Phillips, used to look at Alan Partridge
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