i don't want to be loved in a way that makes me constantly question it. i don't want to analyze response times or punctuation or changes in someone's tone. i don't want to wonder whether i'm annoying them by wanting to talk. i want the kind of love where affection isn't something i have to investigate. where someone can simply say “i missed you” and i don't have to wonder what they really meant.

how to enjoy living again when you have been in survival mode since you were 8 years old and never really learned how to be yourself and everything feels like you are running out of time and everyday just feels like barely keeping your head above water

there are people i would never take back but still think about more often than i’d like to admit.

i’m learning that being loved and feeling loved are two completely different things.

sometimes i reread old conversations just to remember what it felt like when someone was excited to hear from me.

i think i miss being understood more than i miss the person who used to understand me.

sometimes i wonder if i actually miss people or if i miss who i was when they were in my life. there are versions of me that only existed around certain people. the way i laughed, the things i cared about, the little routines we had. losing them meant losing those versions too. and maybe that's why some goodbyes feel so much bigger than they should. you're not only saying goodbye to someone. you're saying goodbye to a version of yourself that existed beside them.

i think the hardest part about losing someone isn't waking up one morning and realizing they're gone. it's realizing how many tiny parts of your day still expect them to be there. you see something funny and reach for your phone. something bad happens and you instinctively want their voice. you hear a song and suddenly you're back in a conversation you haven't had in months. i think that's what people mean when they say you have to relearn your life after someone leaves.

sometimes i wish i could send the version of me from two years ago a message saying “you’re going to survive this. please stop blaming yourself.”

i don’t want someone who makes me question whether they like me. i want the kind of affection that doesn’t require detective work.

maybe closure is realizing you could ask them a hundred questions and still not get an answer that makes what happened hurt less.

i hate when someone becomes part of my daily routine and then suddenly i have to teach myself how to have a normal day without them.

i've always found it strange how quickly people can become strangers. someone can know your favorite song, your worst memories, the things that make you insecure, what you look like when you're about to cry, and then one day you're both scrolling past each other's names like you never knew each other. i don't think i'll ever get used to that. maybe that's why i hold onto little memories for so long. they're proof that something was real, even if it didn't last.

i just don't think it's fair that i have to be this pretty and financially responsible

Lace + Pearls = 1000/10 ✨💖

If you want to look high-effort without trying, ditch black-and-white for Butter Yellow and Espresso Brown. The warm contrast feels rich, soft, and modern. Pair an oversized espresso oversized blazer with a butter-yellow knit or satin skirt. Add gold hoops to tie the warm tones together.

"pH-adjusting" lipsticks don't read your mood or soul; they react with Red 27, a dye that is clear in anhydrous oil but turns bright magenta when it touches moisture. Your "custom shade" is basic chemistry. Want a real custom lip? Dab a cool nude, then tap a berry stain right in the center.

A relationship shouldn't require you to become a detective. If you're constantly checking timestamps, analyzing punctuation, wondering why they followed someone new, rereading old conversations and trying to decode whether they're losing interest... you're not experiencing romance. you're managing uncertainty. The right relationship won't eliminate every insecurity you have, but it shouldn't manufacture new ones every week.

The easiest way to look expensive isn't wearing expensive clothes. It's understanding proportion. A fitted top with relaxed trousers. A tiny bag with an oversized coat. Simple jeans with a structured blazer. A delicate necklace with an otherwise minimal outfit. Most “effortlessly stylish” women aren't wearing extraordinary clothes. They're simply very good at balancing shapes, textures and proportions.