𝗛𝗢𝗪 𝗧𝗢 𝗧𝗨𝗖𝗞 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗥 𝗦𝗘𝗔𝗧𝗠𝗔𝗧𝗘 𝗜𝗡 𝗣𝗘𝗥𝗠𝗔𝗡𝗘𝗡𝗧𝗟𝗬.🤺
My Experience With Porn Addiction: How I Barely Escaped a Dark Rabbit Hole
I was raised around porn and never explicitly rejected my God or religion, but porn eventually got me hooked. I spent up to six hours a day masturbating to porn, losing my integrity, my values, my time, and my energy. It messed up my sleeping schedule and made me feel guilty. It even led to suicidal thoughts, which still plague me. No one knows about them. I don't want to make people worry about things they can't do anything about. Ignorance is bliss, I suppose. I just want them to be happy.
It made me feel as though I was no longer in control of my actions, urges, thoughts or future. There were many times when I decided to take control and rise above my addiction, which began three years ago when I started frequenting websites and forums dedicated to addiction. I also educated myself about addiction, particularly porn addiction and researched techniques to overcome it.
I tried many things, including cold showers, meditation to increase my willpower and process memories, exercising whenever I thought about porn, removing all porn from my devices, clearing my browsing history, installing filters, planning my days to avoid leaving any free time for porn and spending as much time as possible outside my "fapping den" to avoid temptation. I also turned to prayer and reflected on the will of God and the grace of Christ.
These things helped, but I was and still am addicted.
Now, however, I have decided to start a new chapter in my life, take control, and stop.
I have decided not to go into detail about the cult, which operates through a Discord server led by a group of people you could describe as "porn fanatics." They exploit the weaknesses of porn addicts to keep them involved, encouraging them to go deeper into their addiction, masturbate more frequently and engage in increasingly longer sessions.