Yet another self-immolation on the streets of Kathmandu. Last time, I wrote about Ganesh Nepali. Today, I am writing about Dawa Lama.
And I keep coming back to one deeply uncomfortable question:
What has to happen inside a human being for them to believe that their own death is the only remaining way to say, “ENOUGH. I HAVE NO OTHER WAY TO BE HEARD”?
I see a lot of people responding with one argument: “Traffic rules must be followed.”
Yes. They must.
But why have we convinced ourselves that this is where the conversation ends?
Traffic rules must be followed AND people must not be pushed to a point where they see self-destruction as their last act of protest.
These are not contradictory positions. This is not EITHER/OR. It is AND.
A civilized society should be capable of enforcing its laws without losing sight of the human being standing in front of it.
If someone violates a traffic rule, there should be consequences. But if an interaction with the state, an institution, or a system leaves a person feeling completely powerless, humiliated, unheard and trapped, then surely we also have a societal question to answer.
Not: “Who was right?”
Not: “Whose side are you on?”
But: “What kind of system are we building if some people reach a point where they believe dying is easier than living with it?”
That question does not excuse anyone’s actions. It does not mean rules don’t matter. It does not mean institutions should stop doing their jobs.
It means we should have the maturity to ask a harder question while trying to establish accountability - have we left a person no place to plead the case? Have we made it inaccessible to plead the case? Have we made the rules so tough to plead the case?
Recently, in our social media when any tragedy happens, our instinct seems to be to pick a side almost immediately - society is breaking apart along political party lines.
Us versus them; Old vs. New.
And then we argue. And argue. And argue some more!
Meanwhile, a human being is dead and the definition of humanity is being redefined along party lines.
These moments should have made us less interested in winning an argument and more interested in examining the society that produced such despair.
In an age where so much of what we see online is amplified, manufactured or generated by algorithms and AI, even our outrage is increasingly being turned into content. More than 50% of internet traffic is AI generated according to Cloudflare.
Surely some incidents deserve more than a “hot-take”, witty one-liner, punchy statements!
A human being choosing death because they no longer see a viable way to live, be heard or seek justice should be one of those things.
“Sabhya samaj”—a civilized society— not only have rules, they also leave an accessible pathway to let people go to and say, “I am hurting, I am angry, I feel powerless” and ask for help before arriving at “I have nothing left except my own life.”
That is the conversation we should be having.
I know it is always easy to have an EITHER/OR conversation instead of an AND because EITHER/OR allows you to walk away without delving deeper.
“AND” forces us to introspect.
Forces us to find solutions/options among a lot of constraints!
गणेशजीलाई "यो अ/व्यवस्थासँग लड्नु" भन्दा आफ्नो शरीरमा आगो लगाउनु किन सहज लाग्यो होला? उनी चरम लाचारी (HELPLESSNESS) को यस्तो अवस्थामा कसरी पुगे, र उनलाई आफ्नो मद्दत गर्ने कोही छैन भन्ने महसुस किन भयो?
यस विषयमा राजनीतिक दाउपेच वा पीडित परिवारलाई झन् बढी पीडा दिने चरम बचाउ (defensiveness) भन्दा माथि उठेर गम्भीर आत्मसमीक्षा गर्न आवश्यक छ। अब अर्को कुनै नेपालीको यस्तो अकाल मृत्यु रोक्नै पर्छ!
गणेशजीको यो दुःखद घटना (र यसअघि संसद भवन अगाडि आत्मदाह गरेका प्रेमप्रसाद आचार्यको हृदयविदारक भोगाइ) ले हामीलाई राजनीतिक हिलो छ्यापाछ्याप भन्दा टाढा रहेर, यो संयन्त्रले निम्त्याउने चरम निराशाको गहिरो र मौन पाटोलाई हेर्न बाध्य बनाएको छ।
जब कुनै नागरिकलाई अ/ व्यवस्थासँग लड्नु भन्दा आफ्नो शरीरमा आगो लगाउनु सहज लाग्छ, त्यो रिसको झोँकमा चालिएको हठात् कदम मात्र हुँदैन। यो त मनोविज्ञानमा भनिने ‘सिकिएको लाचारी’ (learned helplessness) को अन्तिम र भयानक रूप हो— एउटा यस्तो मानसिक अवस्था जहाँ व्यक्तिले बाँच्नका लागि इमानदार प्रयास गर्छ, तर हरेक पटक उसले हार महसूस गर्छ।
वहाँको आत्माले शान्ति पाओस, परिवारले सहारा पाओस!
अरु सबले introspect गर्न सक्ने क्षमता पाओस!