on the flip side of this, queerness in tech is incredibly isolating
some friends shared the same sentiment in convos recently – the tech industry just doesn’t know how to interact with visible queerness
outside of purely work settings, i almost always get a sense of discomfort from others
i can’t even tell you the amount of times we just can’t seem to find a shared language with someone new i met
queerness is in visible contrast to what this industry has built its cultural foundations on, and where it’s heading politically
we’re living outside normative timelines and have to construct our own scripts for life, which is the total opposite of the tech in-group
the visible contrast, the discomfort, and uncertainty around judgment – these all contribute to us putting up walls, or just withdrawing from these spaces entirely
working in tech as a queer person is simultaneously the most freeing and vulnerable experience
i’m so grateful i never had my identity and expression questioned, so much so that it fades to the background
the freedom that comes with this feels genuinely affirming. we’re all just here to create great work, and we’re judged on merit, not identity
at the same time, a lot of us depend on sv pay to fund things that help us understand and navigate queerness: therapy to unlearn internalised judgement, moving costs to live in cities that feel safe for us, or gender affirming care
leaving this industry is not an option for many, which exposes us to a lot of vulnerability
thankfully i also find it fulfilling to work in this sector – creating something closer to an interdependent experience, where both me and the things we build can flourish