I lend a certain gravitas to the proceedings.
- Tweets 2,660
- Following 435
- Followers 476
- Likes 1,351
Pinned Tweet
How about a video game where you just keep tracking your package but it never arrives and you don’t even really know what you’re waiting for
7
13
When I get mail informing me that I’m part of a class action lawsuit that I was previously unaware of against a party that I feel totally neutral about I go from “yeah they’re fine” to “fuck yeah those guys totally fucked us this is long overdue” pretty quickly, and await my $11.
3
1
Without planning it this way in advance, I recently watched all of "The Founder" (McDonalds), "Air" (Nike/Jordan) and "Tetris"; all of which are in the "not quite a documentary but definitely based on a true story" genre, and I can confirm they are all effectively the same movie.
1
1
263
Look, I'm not an ecologist — but if this week isn't the time to deploy Canada's Strategic Maple Syrup Reserve, I don't know when it will be the time. We could put out the fires and make the entire east coast smell like a candy factory in one swoop. #SyrupSolution
2
216
Is there a mac menu bar app which runs a background clock and then at random times (2-3x/week) takes over the whole screen and loops this video until you click it? youtu.be/SpLRTAGa6bU
169
We need a gmail button which sends something like "I broadly agree with the stance of this political outreach email you've sent me, but the copywriting and typography and stylistic choices you've made here make you look like a bunch of sociopaths" as anonymous feedback to sender.
1
1
4
Same feature should be in place for all school districts -- need a way to quickly and privately convey to all email senders employed by the district that just because there is a button which lets you change the font used in the email does not mean you have to click that button..
1
1
Whatever computer science researcher invented the "skip recap" and "skip intro" technology on binge-watched streamable TV should get a goddamn medal. Honorable mention to all the interns who watched the first ~4 mins of thousands of shows to add that chapter metadata years later.
3
1
8
Absolutely bonkers when one of these skip intro prompts shows up like 18 minutes into the programme. That’s gotta be something you put on your annual review packet if you’re a metadata intern.
1
105
If having dogs as pets wasn't already an established norm and someone proposed it as a new thing to do, we'd think the idea was absurd.
1
102
I'm ready for it. I'm ready for enhanced security.
ALT A screenshot of a comedic turn of phrase used in a world wide web application. It implies that I can literally "install" enhanced security on my computer; when in reality they are talking about the permanance of a cookie!
100
If you have a display which is capable of being rotated 90 degrees so that its vertical try to run it that way a few times a year. I like to imagine some responsive design folks scrolling through their stats and seeing a "574x3735" entry in there and just throwing up their hands.
92
Really an incredible last few days for people who love to talk about tranches and taking haircuts.
1
101
There should be an equivalent of bug bounty programs for middle school children and their assessment software.
1
108
I wanted to give him an achievement award, but also there should be a feedback loop between the makers of the software and the school so he'd be incentivized to report this somewhere and be rewarded (paid? extra recess?)
1
61
Next time you contribute to your company 401k, or buy some mutual funds in your brokerage account, or even acquire some "crypto" "currency", if someone asks what you are doing -- respond that you are "deploying capital". It's very satisfying to say that you are deploying capital!
1
1
"Hey sweet-ums, how was work today?" ... "It was great, you should have seen me at lunch. I deployed some capital at the deli near the office. Got an Italian sub and I feel like I got an immediate and outstanding return on investment. I'll deploy even more there next week".
1
Another fun one: if you've got some extra uninvested cash in a bank account, or even literally in your wallet, try to refer to it as "dry powder". Can you afford to supersize your movie popcorn?! ... absolutely! You've been keeping your powder dry for just this occassion. #powder
1
68
"Health care insurance portal" might be at the top of the rankings in terms of genres of website that I just straight up don't trust. I actively anticipate the site both not working at a technical level and being confusing on a UX level. "Local car dealerships" are also up there.
101