I'd rate our solar system one star

Guy at the grocery store asked me why my wife was pushing the cart and not me and I said she doesn't have a sub-second draw from concealment.

I've decided that I'm just going to put the question mark outside of the quotation marks when it's not part of the quote. The rule is wrong, and I'm just not going to do it.

Very excited to see people who actually have a track record of doing the right thing and making incredible software tackle design in this new era. 😍 @elyxdesign @emanuelsa

millennials getting the word retard back will be our legacy. major cultural victory

Two years at DoorDash. I do not say this lightly. We are extremely close to the burrito arriving before you decide you want it. We are not asking for a ban. We are asking for a pause.

After today, the Ducks are getting moved to ESPN De Ocho.

We have to build AI that murders us, because if we don’t, China will build it first, and I don’t want to get murdered by a computer that speaks Chinese. That would be ridiculous.

My toddler: “And then, I kid you not, dad reaches over and literally *snatches* my nose. Pulls it completely off my face. I feel zero pain. He’s just sitting there, holding my nose in between his fingers.” Shawn Ryan: “Hoooooly sh—.”

The internet always provides. Amazing. 10/10. Would watch again.

Pretty much

You're born. You watch pants go from baggy to skinny back to baggy every 10 years. You die.

The new traffic lights are drop. dead. gorgeous. I keep my glass slider to the maxx and I swear I'm having early 2000s aqua nostalgia/love all over again. I swear if @sdw didn't have a hand in this I'd be shocked. What an unbelievably beautiful update. Keep it coming 😍

Does anyone else get really bad headaches in this heat? And before anyone says “you need to drink more”… I’ve already had two cans of monster and an iced coffee today, so it’s not that.

Damn this is good.

X was supposed to be the one platform safe from this conservative/political censoring bullshit. A few weeks ago we saw someone selling a firearm here on X. Knowing these platforms are a terrible place to actually sell regulated firearms, we made a reply referencing the show Jeopardy saying “I’ll take things that should be on Infinite for $X”, specifically trying to point out that it’d be better to sell a firearm on our fully legal, regulated platform instead of on social media. Some X AI bot caught this reply and interpreted it as us “taking” the sale and asking to buy it and permanently suspended our account. Every link that’s been sent to us via email is an old, dead, 404. - We never broke any rules - Every appeal has come back with an immediate AI response of “you did break the rule” - We were a paying, verified account. AFAIK we’re still being charged for it We’ve been unable to reach any human being This is insane. A legitimate marketing channel for a small and growing startup has been completely shut off due to BS censorship. A total mistake from some AI. We’ve chased down every recourse we possibly can and have nowhere else to turn but the community. Pls help @nikitabier @elonmusk #freeinfinitearmory

While I appreciate what the gay kickball tournament did for the United States this summer, I'm really excited for tackle football season to start tonight.

I’m very, *very* skeptical of the NFA decision but I guess we’ll talk about it on the podcast since it seems to be getting everyone so excited. 👀

This is rly why working from home is life changing TBH.

As a 90’s kid, I really thought going to the gym as an adult it would just be a giant room full of bowflexes. Not sure what happened to them.