Parasocial entitlement.
One of the wildest phenomena I’ve encountered as I’ve grown into what is considered a large account on X is people who follow me because they love what I say, what I do, or what I stand for, but then somehow begin to believe they have a say in what I’m allowed to say, do, or believe.
I didn’t know what this was, until a while back, so I’m assuming many of you don’t, so I’ll explain!
They’ll comment or DM me, sometimes aggressively and angrily, saying, “That’s wrong. You should have said this.” Or, “You should have done that.”
“You’re Greek Orthodox. You should be doing this to bring more people to the faith.”
“You’re conservative. You should be saying this.”
“You’re American. You should be talking about that.”
“You’re Greek. You should be saying this.”
Bro, what? Seriously, WTF!
Nobody tells me what to do, you think you will?
You followed me because you liked what I thought, and somehow along the way that turned into you thinking you get to decide what I’m supposed to think.
That’s parasocial entitlement.
Someone consumes enough of what you say and do that familiarity slowly turns into a sense of ownership. They feel like they know you, and for some people, that eventually becomes feeling like they have some kind of claim over you.
And it gets even stranger when identity gets involved.
People build a version of you in their head based on whatever part of your identity matters most to them. This is especially important for people like me that can talk about countless topics.
The Orthodox follower has an idea of what “Orthodox me” should say. The conservative follower has an idea of what “conservative me” should say. The Greek follower has an idea of what “Greek me” should care about. The American follower has another set of expectations entirely.
Every group can start acting like the particular reason they followed you is the reason you exist publicly.
At first it’s:
“I follow this guy because I like what he thinks.”
Then somehow it becomes:
“I follow this guy, therefore he should think what I think.”
Then it turns into:
“This guy needs to say that or else”
But, many influencers don’t realize this problem and fall into the other trap.
What’s that?
If you’re not careful, that pressure can eventually turn into audience capture.
You start changing what you say, what you talk about, or even what you believe because you know what your audience will reward and what they’ll punish.
That’s when you stop being a person and slowly become a character your audience helped create.
Maybe that’s why this phenomenon has always felt so bizarre to me. It’s like some people think this is a video game and because they follow you, support you, like your posts, or have been around for years, they’ve unlocked the ability to control the character.
They haven’t.
Following someone does not give you ownership over them, you are trying to purchase them with likes and comments.
You can disagree with me. You can criticize me. You can think I’m completely wrong about something.
But you don’t get a vote in who I am.
Never did and never will.
I’m authentic and unpurchased in every way, not just financially but mentally.
I make mistakes. I’m certainly not perfect, but you can’t tell me what to do.
You just can’t.
You followed me because I was being myself so let me do that or just leave.