Retired Army (Infantry) Trump conservative, stroke, brain surgery, and Cancer survivor. Don’t slide in my DM like Massie, unless I know you.

Columbus, GA
My wife didn’t ordered anything from Amazon for a couple of days. They sent a delivery driver to check if she was okay.
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Good morning my fellow extremist. Have a MAGAnifficent day. Bella and Rhea are in the backyard enjoying the cool weather. Coffee from the Keurig. It’s 64 degrees with a freezing high of 80 degrees and sunny in Columbus, Georgia. It’s like playing tennis with a ball of ice.
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My wife accused me of being too self-important. I nearly fell off my throne.
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Good morning my fellow deplorables. Have a MAGAlicious day. Bella and Rhea are back inside and sleeping. Coffee from the Keurig. It’s 68 degrees with a shivering high of 77 degrees with rain in Columbus, Georgia but feels like going roller skating and turns into ice skating.
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I married my wife for her looks. Not the ones she has been giving me lately.
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Good morning all you crazy kids. Have a MAGAdocious day. Bella and Rhea are back inside and sleeping. Coffee from the Keurig. It’s 71 degrees with a brisk 85 and mostly cloudy in Columbus, Georgia but you dream like walking on a sandy beach but wakes up to shards of ice.
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My wife is threatening to leave me because of my obsession with astronomy. What planet is she from?
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Good morning my fellow infidels. Have a MAGAtastic day Bella and Rhea are back inside and awake. Coffee from the Keurig It’s 72 degrees with a frosty high of 89 degrees with rain tonight in Columbus, Georgia but feels like having a water gun fight and stream of ice coming out
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25 years ago, we had Steve Jobs, Johnny Cash, and Bob Hope. Now we have no jobs, no cash, and no hope. Please don’t kill Kevin Bacon
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My daughter bought home her boyfriend to meet my wife and I. We were appalled by his haircut, tattoos and piercings. My wife said to her “Honey he doesn’t seem like a nice boy” My daughter said “Oh please mom! If he wasn’t nice, would he be doing 500 hours of community service?”
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Good morning all you kooky kids. Have a MAGAriffic day. Bella and Rhea are back inside and sleeping. Coffee from the Keurig It’s 72 degrees with frosty high of 90 degrees and sunny in Columbus, Georgia but feels like being at the beach and seagulls pooping ice cubes.
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My wife was talking to her friend yesterday. She told her friend, “I sent my husband to the store for potatoes and he was hit by a car.” Her friend asked, “That’s horrible! What are you going to do now?” My wife replied, “I don’t know, probably rice.”
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Good morning all you knuckleheads. Have a MAGAtastic day. Bella and Rhea are back inside and sleeping, coffee from the Keurig. It’s 71 degrees with a frosty high of 93 degrees with rain soon in Columbus, Georgia but feels like going fishing and turns into ice fishing.
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I asked my wife last night if I was the only one she has been with. She replied, “Yes, the others were 8s and 9s.”
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Good morning all you freedom loving patriots. Have a MAGAnifficent day Bella and Rhea are back inside and sleeping. Coffee from the Keurig It’s 66 degrees with a freezing high of 95 degrees and sunny in Columbus, Georgia. Winds coming from Gulf of America bringing icebergs
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My wife got a call from the hospital yesterday about me being in the emergency room. The doctor came out and said to her, “I don’t like the looks of him.” My wife replied, “Neither do I, but he’s good with the kids.”
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Good morning my fellow infidels. Have a MAGAtastic day. Bella and Rhea are back inside and sleeping. Coffee from the Keurig It’s 68 degrees with an an icy high of 90 degrees and sunny in Columbus, Georgia. Forecast calls for blizzard conditions with a chance of meatball hail
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I fought Muslims in combat for close to 10 years and 4 Muslim countries. I feel like I know these filthy goat fuckers well. The lesson here is don’t trust any of them, period. Fuck you for supporting them including so called conservatives. You people are worthless piece of shit
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My wife asked me to pick up some pills before I got home yesterday so I can be ready for some action. So I bought home some diet pills. Now I need pain pills.
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Good morning all you crazy kids. Have a MAGAdocious day. Bella and Rhea are back inside and sleeping. Coffee from the Keurig. It’s 74 degrees with a frigid high of 90 degrees and mostly sunny in Columbus, Georgia. News 9 weather copter sees blizzard conditions with hail
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