Halloween weekend, woman/gay feel free to dress up!
5
7
454
38,686
Been in Kentucky for three days and have already completely lost track of how I normally talk
12
11
938
28,457
Tap in
16
100
1,724
78,812
Cincinnati
19
6
355
14,941
Brought so much creatine to the airport they had to lab test it
5
4
385
11,691
Christ, what’s next. Ten?
Amanda Seyfried and husband Thomas Sadoski have split after 9 years of marriage. (people.com/amanda-seyfried-a…)
3
5
714
33,657
Knew it
70
3,422
Ed Sheeran and I have broken off our situationship
11
32
1,314
16,823
How the time flies. For perspective, his girlfriend would be seventeen years old if he were still alive
Happy heavenly birthday, Paul Walker. 🕊️
158
3,826
161,022
12,599,321
Lil Durk freed just in time to celebrate Rosh Hashanah with his family…the world is full of miracles
2
72
1,231
30,118
My friend got a hair transplant in Papua New Guinea and they just used a bunch of ants
4
44
1,552
34,393
Thomas White retweeted
made this poster for this show. go see it and talk about the poster during every set.
Halloween weekend, woman/gay feel free to dress up!
3
1
153
17,706
Friday night guys…let’s #KeepItLight
4
3
506
12,915
HR can’t even look me in the eye anymore
11
452
7,025
186,832
My new impression of the British
38
22
1,780
36,579
Going to bed in golf shorts. Fuck the haters and also me
5
28
958
24,812
Almost no flamingos left in pop culture. “America has forgotten the flamingo.”
15
97
1,904
49,880
Quote is from me
1
157
6,417
Thomas White retweeted
This isn’t right @delaware_gov
30
43
868
26,824
(When the allegations are correct) Heard y’all been telling the truth on my name
1
63
1,802
32,296